Always
by GaladrielGirl
Summary: Everything seems to be returning to a kind of normal for Puck. That explains why he never saw it coming. Cannon for the first 13 episodes of Season 1, may include references to the back nine in the future.
1. 01: You Can't Always Get What You Want

**AN 1****: I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for about a month now, and really needed to get it written out before it eats up what precious brain cells I have left. Just a warning to anyone looking for a dramatic angst ficlet; this gets EXTREMELY angsty and dramatic, so don't say I didn't warn you...**

**AN 2****: Also, to give credit where credit is due, Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and the song lyrics featured are from the song "Funny Face," by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.**

Always

Chapter 1: You Can't Always Get What You Want (Puck POV)

_**Must have been your paper chase that wasn't quite enough...**_

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Turning away from the bright light streaming in from his window, Noah Puckerman began to curse his iHome for waking him up. Admittedly, he didn't curse as much since the baby was born, but he figured it was ok because he's willingly getting out of bed before noon during Summer break.

_**Must have been your angel dust that put me on your cloud...**_

Crossing his room, he changed the song to something more mellow, and started getting dressed quickly after noticing the time. Puck had scheduled his yearly physical for today, and he needed to go to today's practice to get the permission form for football camp from Coach Tanaka. Anyways, he had about thirty minutes to grab a quick breakfast and drive over to the Lima Memorial Hospital for a 10:30 appointment.

Turning off his iHome, Puck put his phone in his pocket before jogging downstairs. _Its a Tuesday, right? Mom should be home...and Sarah. They should still be eating breakfast, since it's the summer and all..._

Reaching the kitchen, Puck found his mom, standing behind the counter kneading dough for his sister's birthday; for some reason, Sarah always had pie instead of cake on her birthday.

"Noah, what time is your appointment today? You're cutting it awful close mister. Not a good impression to make on the person who signs off on your athletic eligibility." His mom turned to him and ruffled his short hair. Sarah shaved the mohawk off before Hanukkah, leaving his hair to grow out a bit curly. Pulling apple juice from the fridge, he answered.

"Mom, I still have a while. And it doesn't take long to get to the Memorial from here." He put the apple juice back, feeling sick to his stomach. Nerves probably, he reasoned. _But I'm a badass, I don't get nervous. Doctors aren't scary and unlike Finn, I don't faint when I get blood drawn._

Finn. Puck's former best friend still hadn't forgiven Puck for sleeping with his girlfriend, and wouldn't speak to him most of the time (glaring instead). He forgave Quinn soon after the "baby daddy drama," as Mercedes called it, was revealed. They started dating again less than a month after Sectionals, leaving Puck without his baby (she was adopted by a couple in Columbus) and Rachel without a boyfriend.

Rachel. She was probably the only friend Puck really could talk to nowadays. Matt and Mike didn't really choose sides, but they hung out with their girlfriends, Brittany and Santana. Santana (and by extension, Brittany) were mad at him for sleeping with Quinn and causing the pause in her relationship with Finn. Kurt and Mercedes ignored him, unless they were insulting his fashion sense (plaid shirts are comfortable and lumberjacks are total badasses!). Tina and Artie were nice enough, but they were better friends with Kurt and Mercedes, and hung around them more.

Rachel didn't really have anyone before the news was broken. Glee club almost treated her like a pariah (yes, he knew big words; he wasn't stupid), only pausing their annoyed eye rolls to encourage her to do all the work. When he noticed that she was left behind by Finn after Sectionals, he took up her offer of friendship, spending most of his free time in the auditorium playing guitar or piano accompaniment to the songs she would sing.

His days of "studliness" (the technical term he used) were long forgotten, trading in conquests for a break from the women of Lima, with the exception of Rachel. They would do homework together after Glee and hung out at each other's houses. Darren and Isaiah Berry grew to like Puck, referring to him as 'Dennis the Menace' fondly on occasion (they hadn't forgotten his vandalism Freshman year). His mom took to Rachel really quickly, asking Rachel to call her Deborah and insisting on dinner with both families after Temple.

_Smack._

"Ah, mom!" Puck rubbed his left arm where he was just hit, "why'd you do that?"

"Noah, it's a quarter after ten. You need to leave now if you're going to be there on time. Do you want to take something to eat on the way; I noticed you didn't have anything, and you've lost some weight recently." She looked at him with concern.

"Naw, I'm still feeling a bit sick. I think I might have caught something from school a few months back."

"Well, do me a favor, and ask for a blood test to rule out mono. I heard that Lopez girl had contracted it, and knowing her, she probably spread it around half the school before school let out for the summer." He chuckled at the diss on Santana; his mom _hated_ her.

"Ok mom, tell Sarah I'll be back after the appointment. I still have to change for football, so if she wanted to talk to me, I should be home between twelve and two." I grabbed my keys and wallet and went to my Ford.

_**gleegleeglee**_

"Noah Puckerman? Dr. Gerandy will see you in room eight now," the nurse told him. He put down the magazine he read and walked back towards the room.

Puck's height and weight were measured, and he sat, waiting for the doctor. Over the past few years, he struck up a sort of understanding with Dr. Gerandy, not receiving the boring-as-hell lectures on why not to sleep around Lima. The doctor recognized that Puck wasn't really receptive to long talks, so he gave him an informational packet to browse through and said his door was open whenever for questions (which there were quite a few of, after Puck read over the different types of STD's). The door opened.

"How's my star receiver? Ready for this fall's season?" Dr. Gerandy asks, as he starts to look over Puck's chart. He frowns at something, then makes notes on the bottom of the page.

"Honestly, Dr. G, football isn't as fun as it used to be," Dr. Gerandy nodding, remembering Quinn Fabray's baby, "but I have to do something or I just get restless. You know, an outlet for frustration or something." Puck trailed off, picking at the small hole on the knee of his jeans.

"Yeah, Puck, I understand. Anyways, I noticed on your chart that you lost twenty pounds since your last physical. Have you experienced any weird symptoms or made any changes in your diet that could have caused this?" The doctor looked somewhat concerned, worrying Puck. He ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Um, I've felt really sick for the past months or so. Like puke-on-the-OCD-counsellor sick," Puck thought back to Hummel being drunk last fall, "but it was never really that bad. Do you think it's Mono? Santana has it, and she has the habit of passing more than just gossip around." The doctor let out a dry chuckle, nodding a bit.

"Santana Lopez? Yes, I've heard a few things about her, but no; Mono exhibits different symptoms than what you have. If you could please take off your shirt, then I can see if one of your ribs is misplaced. That could have caused the loss of appetite." Puck unbuttoned his flannel shirt, folding it quickly (an influence of Rachel's), and setting it on the examination table. He then raised his arms, forming a 'T' shape, allowing his ribs to be examined. As the doctor passed over his left arm, he frowned and gestured for Puck to lower his arms.

"Puck, what happened to your arm? This bruise is really serious, and without aggravating it anymore, you will probably have some swelling." Puck looked at Dr. Gerandy first in confusion, then to his left arm. A blue and purple bruise, just now starting to resemble a smaller hand, was prevalent on Puck's bicep. His arm was prodded lightly, to asses damage, and he immediately pulled away from the doctor in pain.

"I-It can't...oh fuck-sorry Dr. G! I just...my mom smacked my arm this morning to get me moving 'cause I was running late. It wasn't even that hard! I have no idea how it..." Puck trailed off in disbelief. Dr. Gerandy laid a hand lightly on his right shoulder.

"Puck, there are so many things that could be contributing to the bruising, so you don't need to worry as of now. You will however be missing today's football practice to get blood taken for testing. You shouldn't even think about going back until we have a clear idea of what's wrong." Puck looked at the doctor, and nodded seriously.

"Can I call my mom after the blood draw? I need to let her know I have to stay here later than expected."

Dr. Gerandy nodded.

_**gleegleeglee**_

12:09 PM.

It had been exactly one hour and twenty two minutes since the blood was sent back to be tested. Puck still hadn't called his mom. He would get as far as the contacts page before chickening out, putting his phone in the other hand before starting again seventeen minutes later.

Contacts page.

"Puck, we have a partial panel done now."

Puck put his phone away, waiting for the news.

_**gleegleeglee**_

12:19 PM.

He still needed to call his mom.

The results so far weren't too bad, Puck thought. _At least I'm not the walking dead. Well, here goes..._

Contacts. Mom. Home.

Dialing.

Dialing.

"Noah? Do you have a flat tire hon? Sarah was waiting to ask you for help on her Summer homework, and you didn't come home on time, and I figured...so how much longer do you think?" His mom spoke quickly, not letting Puck talk.

"Mom...I'm still at the hospital. They took some blood and are still running tests." He heard her sigh through the phone.

"Noah, did he say there was any chance of you having Mono? If that's the case, that Lopez girl-" Puck interrupted.

"Mom, I don't have Mono. Dr. G thinks it's something else. You know how you gave me a smack this morning?" He paused for a moment. "It left a bruise. A bad one; all black and blue." He could hear the tears in her voice when she spoke.

"Oh Noah bear, I'm so sorry. Does Dr. Gerandy want me to come to the hospital? Do you want me to bring Sarah?" He thought about what possible news he could hear, and decided quickly.

"Mom, I'm fine for now, but I'll keep you updated. I promise. You know I love you, right?" This only made his mom cry harder.

"You think it's really serious Noah?" _Shit_, he thought, I need to act more normal.

"Mom, I'll be fine. I promise to call you right after I meet with Dr. G again. Oh, and if Sarah really needs help, tell her to text me the problem, and she doesn't have to wait for me to get home." He slightly mimicked the 'Rachel' voice used whenever she figured something out before everyone else. He heard footsteps behind him, and knew he needed to go back to the examination room. "I'll call you later, bye."

_**gleegleeglee**_

3:37 PM.

Dr. G had already told him some ideas of what could be wrong, with Anemia topping the list. He did a quick search on his phone, and didn't think it was as bad as he originally thought, but the full blood work panel wasn't done yet. Dr. G opened the door, and entered the examination room with more paperwork.

"Noah, I have good news and bad news. What would you rather hear first?"


	2. 02: A Berry Long Day

**AN 1****: Ok, first off, I must thank everyone who read and reviewed chapter 1...I was pleasantly surprised at the general reception for my first Glee ficlet. I also must warn y'all: most of the Lima location references are thanks to my iPhone 'Google Maps' application. Wikipedia was used for other specifics (which will become more clear as you read this chapter of the story).**

**AN 2****: Also, to give credit where credit is due, Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and the song referenced by Tina is property of Josh Groban.**

Chapter 2: A Berry Long Day (Rachel POV)

Ding.

_What. The. Hell._

*pirouette*

Ding.

_Who in the world is texting me during my ballet practice?_

Loosening her pointe shoes, Rachel crossed the studio to her ballet bag, and pulled her phone from the inner pocket. Unlocking the screen, she noticed two texts.

**June 28, 2010**

**3:35**

**Tina: Hey Rach, do you have the sheet music for "To Where You Are?" I can trade you for whatever, but I need to work on it before the choir practice on Saturday. K, thx!**

**June 28, 2010**

**3:37**

**Noah: I'm the lake.**

The first text left Rachel shaking her head. Of course Tina would wait until the last week to work on their choir assignment... They both decided to join a club choir team right after New Directions took second place at Regionals last year. Because of choir, Rachel can safely say she has three friends: Noah, Tina, and Artie (he's practically attached to Tina by the hand).

Looking at her second text, Rachel knew something was wrong; Noah hates going to the lake since he almost drowned when they were kids. He'll only really go there to think and self-reflect. Rachel had told him this, but he denies the emotional attachment; badasses don't "do emotion." She had gotten him to open up a bit more (and he, in turn, managed to get her to talk more like a sailor), but they were still somewhat the same people from before Quinn and Finn messed with their minds.

Rachel quickly took off her shoes, replacing them with the white and blue Nike high tops Noah gave her for her seventeenth birthday. While she was running out the studio's door, trying to pull on Noah's old freshman football sweatshirt, she yelled a quick 'goodbye' to her dance instructor and hurried to her car.

_**gleegleeglee**_

The ten minute drive from the dance studio downtown to the park across the street from Noah's house seemed to take forever. Reaching his house on Liberty Street, she parked her Prius in front of his lawn and practically ran to the willow tree that they always sat under. Rachel had fond memories of spring picnics and study sessions out at their tree.

From where she was, she could see his legs laying on the grass, and she slowed her run until she was walking the last five steps. Rachel knew she was hardly sneaky, so Noah just wasn't responding to hearing her.

Sitting down against the tree, Rachel leaned into his right side, turning to see his face for the first time today. To any other person, they would see 'Puck;' unemotional, with no real cares in the world. Rachel saw slightly out of focus eyes and small piles of shredded grass on either side of his hands. She reached up to his face, tracing the other side lightly. When he spoke, his voice took on that gravelly tone, as if he was trying not to care.

"I had my physical for football today, you know, with Dr. G." He ran his left hand through his hair and closed his eyes. "He did some tests, for everything." His breathing grew more uneven as his mind went back to the tense moments in the office. " 'Good news and bad news,' he said. Oh Moses-"

"Noah, don't, please?" He looked at her face and shook his head. Letting out a chuckle, he continued.

"Rach, it wasn't good. The good news wasn't even comforting. California, really?" Noah rubbed his palms over his eyes, trying to distract from the tears he knew were starting to fall silently. He couldn't let her see him like this. She moved from her spot next to him to sitting on his lap, grasping his hands and leaning in to rest her head against his. She opened her eyes, looking into his less than two inches away. The tears were still rolling down his face.

"Noah, what does California have to do with anything?" Her heart pounded sharply, as if the idea of him leaving would cause her to explode like the illegal fireworks he would set off in the parking lot behind their Temple on the Fourth of July.

"UCLA Medical Center in California. That's where Dr. G said I could go for treatments. He wasn't sure what kind, but he said I had leukemia. He's waiting on the advanced test panels to know how they're going to treat me." His words rushed out so fast, Rachel needed a few seconds to process what he told her. Tears began to run down her face as well, but she didn't lose eye contact with him.

"You said could. What are your other options for treatment?" Rachel's usually flawless voice cracked on the last syllable of her question. Still, she held his hand tight and waited for his answer.

"He said I could go to the oncology, that's the cancer-" Noah's eyes closed as he tried to steady his breathing. "That's the cancer doctor. They have an oncology section at the Memorial, but he told me that UCLA would be more thorough." With the last sentence, Noah's voice grew quieter, betraying his emotions for once.

"Noah, did you talk to Deborah about this? You're still a minor, so you need her to sign off on whatever decision you make." The weight of Rachel's silence hit upon both of the teens, finally bringing Noah's eyes back to Rachel.

The look in them reminded her of little Noah Puckerman, the boy in Temple who wouldn't stop playing his guitar if she sang with him: confused and looking to Rachel for all the answers in the world. The question this time though wasn't whether he wanted to play that new song by Coldplay or that Zombies classic he would hum every waking hour. This look had a simpler question and much harder answer.

"Why me, Rach?" After this simple question, he leaned back against the willow tree. "I told mum I was being tested for something, but that was hours before I found out. I can't fucking tell her..." His voice went quiet, then rose again steadily. "She's going to cry again, and I've been enough of a screw up already. I can't hurt her anymore!" At the end of his rant, he stood up abruptly.

Rachel sat in her spot against the tree for a second before going after Noah. He was walking down to the dock, about thirty feet from the tree they sat under. He reached the edge and sat down, letting his feet hang over the edge. Rachel reached him, and while standing behind him, placed both hands on his shoulders.

"Noah, you are going to tell Deborah, but don't you think you'll be doing this alone!" With every word said, the more serious she became. "I have been your friend through slushie facials and flaming pants, so if I wanted to back out, I probably would have done it then. I will stand with you, holding your hand, while you tell your mother. Then we will collectively decide what to do." Rachel felt his shoulders relax into her hands just a bit.

"Thanks Rach." They stayed on the dock in silence for a few more minutes before walking across the street to his house.

_**gleegleeglee**_

When Noah opened the door to his house, the first thing he heard was his sister, Sarah's, laughter: this only made his stomach turn over. The thought of what was causing the nausea came to him, but he had to block that out. He felt a light pressure on his arm: Rachel's hand.

"Noah, it's going to be fine. We need to tell her." Rachel tried to assure him, but they didn't notice Deborah Puckerman walk into the entryway.

"Hello Noah, Rachel. I heard the door, and figured it would be you, but you brought Rachel over too! What did you need to tell me? Did you get Rachel pregnant?" With this second question, Rachel started choking. Noah gave a grim smile, thinking back to the time when that was his biggest problem.

"Mum, how many times do I have to tell you Rachel and I are just friends?" He just patted Rachel's back, and walked into the kitchen to ask Sarah to go upstairs. She left after telling him she still needed help with Algebra II, leaving the lower level of the house silent. Deborah walked into the kitchen to get her drink.

"Rachel dear, would you like a cup of Earl Grey?" She gestured towards the kettle on the stove. As Rachel shook her head, Deborah sat at the head of the dining table, sipping her own tea. Noah sat down in the chair to the left of his mom, Rachel taking up her previous position behind him, with her hands on his shoulders. Noah took a breath and began.

"Mum, I got the results back from the tests today. They weren't very informative, so Dr. G is running more tests, but..." He trailed off helplessly. Rachel squeezed his left shoulder, causing him to look up at her. She nodded and began to speak.

"Deborah, Noah has-" She was cut off.

"Cancer. Leukemia, specifically." Noah's words hung in the air, strangling the tension that had suddenly appeared. His mom placed her teacup back on the table and covered her face with her hands. Her breath started to become more inconsistent as tears started down her cheeks. At this moment, she reached for her son's hands, and grasped them tightly as she asked the first question that came to mind.

"What can they do for you?" Her voice trembled slightly, but otherwise, she remained strong. Noah explained what Dr. Gerandy had told him about the types of treatment available (once the blood work came back with a more specific reading), and the opportunity to seek treatment in California. Aside from the occasional nod, Deborah remained stoic.

As Noah was showing her the information packet he had been given about different types of leukemia and their treatments, the home phone rang. Rachel, who was now sitting on Noah's other side, brought the cordless phone to him. He answered.

"Um, hello. This is Noah Puckerman speaking." He nodded, and answered the occasional 'yes,' his expressions giving away nothing to the two women sitting in silence at the table. As the call finished, Noah assured Dr. Gerandy that he would be there for a followup appointment, and would bring his mom. He crossed the room and hung up the phone.

"He had the results of the blood film examination..."

**AN 3****: Lastly, I just wanted to say that yes, Puck's 'mysterious illness' was a bit predictable, but I'm planning some plot twists to keep you on your toes, so don't worry about becoming bored. Oh, and the rest of the Gleeks might be appearing in the near future...**


	3. 03: Speechless

**AN****: Once again, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Also, thanks to the 'Google Maps' app, Wikipedia, and my local Target for help (and a bit of inspiration) with getting facts straight. And I am also super happy that I got this chapter posted on my birthday (which really isn't as much of a deal as I used to make it out to be; 19 isn't really that different from 18...), so enjoy!**

**AN 2****: Also, to give credit where credit is due, Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, and the song lyrics belong to Lady Gaga.**

Always

Chapter 3: Speechless (Puck POV)

*thump*

*thump*

*thump*

Puck could only focus on the palpitations of his heart as he processed what Dr. G had just told him. His left hand started to pick at the loose string at the hem of his Doors t-shirt while he stalled telling his best friend and his mom.

"Noah, just say it," his mom pressed on. He looked at her, pain evident on her face, as she was holding Rachel's hand in comfort.

_Rachel._

Rachel's eyes had gotten large as he got off the phone, that much he saw. She also looked a bit paler than usual. _But that's a normal reaction when your best friend tells you he has cancer._ He stopped picking at the hem of his shirt, walked over to the table, and sat in his chair.

"Dr. G told me a long name, but I remembered reading through the section in the packet; it's a type of chronic lymphoid leukemia, and not really common." Before he was finished speaking, Rachel was thumbing through the packet, looking for the type Puck had mentioned. When she had found the section, she began to read through the information quickly, jotting notes in the margins with a pen that Sarah had left. When she had finished, Rachel gestured to finish telling the new information.

"Um, he just mentioned that I should think about the option of going to California, because it would be one of the things to talk about tomorrow, but I don't know." His hands began to fidget. "I mean, he told me that he called one of his associates who works there, and they would cover the cost since I fall under special circumstances. I just don't know if its worth it, you know?" By the end of his speech, his hands laid still; his glassy eyes focused on the ceiling.

His mom touched his hand lightly and Puck's eyes flew to hers.

"Noah, do you want me to tell Sarah? I could break it to her softly...let you think things over now. When I come down, I'll make dinner, ok?" Puck could see the traces of tears in her eyes, and knew how much this was affecting her. He nodded and watched his mom walk into the hallway.

Rachel grasped his hand after a few moments of silence, pulling him out of his seat and towards the living room. They sat in the window seat next to the upright piano, facing each other. As they sat in silence, Puck noticed how long their talk had lasted; when they had left the park it was still late afternoon, but now the sun was beginning to set. Rachel decided to break the silence.

"Why do you think 'its not worth it' to go to California, Noah" She looked at him with that look she always used to give him: like he was worth more.

"Rach, what's the point? You read the packet...I am one of a handful of teenagers who has _ever_ had this variation. If I'm going to start the treatment, I need to start it soon. Dr. G said within the next week. I can't leave my family for who knows how long!" Puck ran his hand through his hair in frustration, leaning against the wall. "If I have to have treatment, I'm doing it in Lima." He looked at Rachel, almost daring her to speak.

"Noah, have you thought about what this would do to your mother? To Sarah? They need you to get better, and when you're healthy enough, come back to Ohio. A cow town like Lima could never give you that kind of treatment, the best treatment." She was holding on to the seat cushion, making her knuckles go white. She continued on.

"What about me?" By this time, tears were rolling down Rachel's face for the second time that day. "What will I do when my best friend gets worse? It hurts me to even think that you have cancer, but to see you deteriorate. It. Will. Kill. Me."

Puck, having known Rachel Berry since he was a baby (they were in the same play group at Temple), knew all of her mannerisms when she was acting; this was no act. Her eyes were starting to get red from all of the crying. If she were acting, not only would her eyes be clear, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't have run her hands through her hair so much (making it resemble that _Twilight_ actor Sarah had a crush on).

Suddenly, Rachel stood up from the window seat and moved to sit at the nearby piano bench, looking ahead at the expanse of wall next to Puck's head. He turned in his seat, facing her fully.

"Rach..." Puck lost any idea of what he was going to say as a familiar melody began playing. He recognized it from the few times he managed to catch her crying. It was on that playlist she kept on her iPod, the one that started with the really mopey songs and ended with a lot of the metal I-hate-you-so-much music Puck had imported into her library when she made waffles for Saturday brunch.

Melody, already somewhat dark, began to pick up slightly. It wasn't until she began to softly sing along with one of the latter verses did he realize what song she was playing. And she was playing it for him.

_**And after all the boys and girls that we've been through,**_

_**Would you give it all up?**_

_**Could you give it all up?**_

_**If I promised, boy, to you?**_

Puck had thought Rachel would have stopped crying before playing the piano. He was wrong; as she sang, he saw small teardrops land on her hands and the piano keys. She kept playing, her voice growing stronger with each line. Sounding more like the Rachel he always heard singing in the car ride back from Temple on Friday nights.

_**That I'll never talk again, no,**_

_**And I'll never love again.**_

_**I'll never write a song,**_

_**Won't even sing along.**_

By now, Rachel was really throwing herself into the song, the way Puck expected her to whenever she sang in front of an audience. The emotions that always had seemed like an afterthought were hitting him in the face; he hadn't expected her to care this much...

_**I'll never love again,**_

_**So speechless.**_

_**You've left me speechless,**_

_**So speechless.**_

He raised from his seat and walked over to the piano bench as Rachel finished the song. Standing behind her, mimicking the way she comforted him earlier, he felt her shoulders relax through the final lines.

_**Some men may follow me,**_

_**But you choose death and company.**_

_**Why you so speechless?**_

After the final note, Puck sat next to Rachel on the bench, resting his forehead against hers. They spent several seconds like that until...

"I'll do it." Puck had spoken before he could even think the new concept. "I will go to California, but you need to visit me. You and mum and Sarah. Your dads can come for Hanukkah, and I **will **come straight back to Lima when I am better." He finished his declaration by smacking his hand on the piano bench.

_*sniffle*_

Puck and Rachel turned from each other, both still glassy-eyed, to see Deborah and Sarah Puckerman standing in the doorway to the stairs. Deborah was holding Sarah's shoulders, trying to keep the tears in. Sarah walked to her brother slowly, hugging both him and Rachel.

"I'm glad you're doing the right thing Noah, I really am." Sarah broke away from the other two, walking to the kitchen to begin dinner. His mom didn't even speak, just sent a small smile to Puck and Rachel, then followed her daughter. Rachel and Puck looked at each other and stood, heading to the kitchen to help out with dinner.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Three days: the time Puck would have left in Lima after his appointment with Dr. G. They had discussed his decision and the realities of the program at the children's hospital at UCLA, setting up two available tickets on that Thursday's flight to LAX. After a lengthy discussion, Puck was going on the plane with Rachel (his mom thought he needed her more for support).

Because of this, Rachel and Puck were at the local Target getting picture frames and other things to liven up his room. They felt anything but lively, with Rachel's eyes still somewhat red and Puck's showing signs of insomnia.

Walking down the technology aisle (to get Puck a decent pair of headphones), they heard familiar voices calling their names. Turning, they found Tina and Artie, each carrying a few CDs of their preference: _Smashing Pumpkins_ for Tina, _Vertical Horizon_ for Artie.

"Hey Puck, Rachel. What awesome wares are you looking for?" Artie was always pretty "to the point" with his questions. Puck looked at Rachel hesitantly for a split-second, launching into his _badass_ persona immediately.

"Eh, not much. Just new headphones for me. And one of those cables to connect my guitar to my laptop...you know, for Garageband." Puck launched into the explanation, tightening his hold on Rachel's hand. She looked up at him, smiled slightly, and turned to their Gleek friends.

"Artie, Tina, it was great spontaneously seeing you at our local chain store, but Noah and I are in charge of cooking for our post Shabbat meal, so we really must be leaving now. We'll surely run into you around town at some point this summer." With a forced "show face" smile, Artie and Tina watched Rachel pull Puck by the hand to the nearest register, ringing up the Skullcandy headphones and eight picture frames. Tina turned to Artie, confusion on her face.

"Artie, isn't today Wednesday?" Artie looked at Tina, wondering when she had started to channel their fellow Gleek, Brittany. He nodded slowly. Tina smacked his shoulder in exasperation.

"I'm just checking. Rachel mentioned making their 'after Shabbat' meal, but they always have those meals on Friday because you asked Puck if he could jam that one Friday, and they had to go to Temple, right? Something's up..." Tina trailed off, looking at the pair who just exited the store. Artie contemplated the idea.

"Tina, did Rachel look like she was crying?" Tina just looked at Artie, who looked slightly suspicious. Rachel really never cried. Tina found her after she fell down the wheelchair ramp at Glee, bandaging up her knee, but she wasn't crying then. Tina shivered and Artie nodded at her.

They knew enough about their teammates to know that something was up. Something possibly worse than baby-gate, and that was saying something.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Thursday morning dawned cloudy, reflecting on Puck's mood. He had no idea when he would next see his family, but they need him to be healthy again, so he was leaving. Putting his suitcase into the back of his mom's 1953 Packard Patrician, he held the passenger seat forward for his sister to get in, sitting next to her.

The drive to Rachel's house was short; she lived at the other end of his block. He got out of the car, exchanging parting hugs with Darren and Isaiah, and took Rachel's bag. Soon enough, their car was pulling off of Bellefontaine, into Lima Allen County Airport. At the drop off strip, Puck and Rachel pulled their luggage out of the car. His mom turned off the car, walked over to them, and gave them each a hug. Sarah had started to cry silently, hugging Rachel first, and whispering a question so her brother wouldn't hear.

"Rachel, he _will_ get better, right?" The worry shone in her green eyes, strangling the older girl's heart. Rachel had known Sarah her entire life, and emotional moment like this were few and far between.

"Sarah," She pulled away to look at the younger girl's face, "He will. He'll get treatment, and come back better than before. Even more badass." At that, Sarah let a few laughs escape, glancing at Puck. She nodded, hugged Rachel, then went to her brother.

"Runt, I'll be back before you know it." Puck squeezed his sister in a one armed hug. She glanced at Rachel, then smiled at her brother.

"Of course you will, Noah. Rachel said you'll be even more badass." Sarah ended her sentence giggling, causing her brother to smile slightly. Sarah pulled away, and sat in the passenger seat of the Packard. His mom got back in her car, and waved at them as she pulled away from the curb slowly.

Rachel took Puck's hand, nodded at him, and pulled him towards the check-in counter.


	4. 04: Come Fly With Me

**AN****: Thanks again to everyone who read up to this point. I really meant to get this chapter out last Sunday, but essays occupied my time. As I am moving into the last three weeks of school, I will probably have a lot less time to write, but I've already started on the next chapter. Just to address some poignant reviews: ****booksmartblonde333****- you have to wait a bit more for interaction with the rest of Glee, but I am denying nothing...****chrpangel****- I drew the idea for the song from an interview with Lady Gaga where she said the song was for her dad to convince him to do something (I think it was for a surgery, but I'm not sure)...and lastly, thanks to ****DJTCluva**** for reviewing for all of the chapters so far!**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee belongs to the brilliant Ryan Murphy, and the songs "Come Fly With Me" and "Paint It Black" belong to Frank Sinatra and the Rolling Stones, respectively.**

Always

Chapter 4: Come Fly With Me (Rachel's POV)

As each person ahead turned in their boarding pass, Rachel could only think of two things: the clammy hand holding hers and the sunlight just now rising above the cloud cover. Noah's face was blank, belying none of the emotions he was sure to be feeling, but his stance told her everything. He still looked a bit broken, and it was noticeable; the grandmother standing three spots behind them had already offered him some of her pumpkin bread from the airport coffee shop to try to 'turn that frown upside down'.

Needless to say, her offer only succeeded in making him feel more pathetic...

...Because as he said, "Badasses don't need pumpkin bread to make them happy," and Rachel spent the next five minutes trying to reaffirm his badassness, eventually getting him back to a lighter version of the moping he had before. _Really_, she thought, _he's coping better than I thought he would_. Rachel was pulled out of her thoughts and towards the plane by Noah, handing their boarding passes in and walking into their gate.

Reaching the end of the gate, the teens walked to the back of the plane, sitting on the right side of the plane. Noah sat down first, lifting the screen that had been covering the small window. Rachel sat next to him in the aisle seat, placing her purse by her feet after she pulled out her notebook and a pen. Noah turned on his iPod, only listening through the right earbud.

_Please turn off all electronic devices and prepare for takeoff in five minutes time._

Noah put his iPod back in his backpack, turning to Rachel with a curious look on his face.

"I'm just checking over our plans for the day. Did you want to check out the beach before going to the hospital?" She looked at him, reaching for his hand for the umpteenth time that morning, squeezing it lightly. He nodded, continuing.

"I really have no idea how they're going to feel about me leaving the building once I check in...you know, there could be allergens and stuff. I'm not going to have another chance after this probably, so, sure." He finished up shrugging. Noah pulled out his informational packet, looking at the different maps of the facilities. He looked up at Rachel.

"Rach, you'll be able to stay until visiting time is over, right?" Rachel nodded at Noah, looking at the page he was referencing.

"Noah, I'll help you set up your room today; make sure your laptop and guitar are in place. I won't leave until they kick me out, I promise." She smiled at him gently, squeezing his hand again as she felt the plane start to move towards the runway for take off. Noah nodded again, turning to face the sunshine that was just now beginning to show from behind the clouds.

_**gleegleeglee**_

After a layover in Columbus, their plane soon was back in the air, heading towards LAX. For the past half hour, Noah and Rachel had been sharing his iPod, tuning out the horrible in-flight movie (neither had enjoyed Monsters vs. Aliens when they took Sarah-the gelatinous blob freaked Rachel out). They were drawing on a piece of Rachel's notebook paper, passing the time with the occasional comment on the song they listened to, but mostly maintaining the silence.

When they heard the familiar strains of trumpet, Rachel looked up at Noah, seeing him smiling in remembrance. He voiced the implied question.

"You remember dancing to this at your Bat Mitzvah? Our parents kept taking so many pictures, and Sarah thought we were going to get married because we danced well together." She nodded her affirmation, thinking back to those ten minutes.

_**gleegleeglee**_

About halfway through Rachel's Bat Mitzvah, she had already danced with both of her dads, as well as most of the boys from Temple (except that creepy Jacob kid-who wears a blue tuxedo to a Bat Mitzvah?). She heard the DJ announce a special song requested, then the trumpets blasted. She felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned to see Noah Puckerman, her closest friend. He was smiling shyly when he asked he to dance. She mentioned that _the only appropriate dance step for this song would be the Viennese Waltz,_ and that she_ could only ever do this song justice_. He smiled a bit more confidently, and gestured for her to lead the way to the floor.

They made their way into the center of the dance floor, smirking at the confused looks on their parents; Rachel and Noah _always_ refused to dance for their parents outside of class. Taking the beginning position, they fixed their postures and began to lead around the floor. Spinning out, Noah lightly pulled Rachel back to him, softly singing along with one of her favorite songs.

_**You may hear, angels tear,**_

_**Cause we're together.**_

With every change step, head turn, or kick, the rest of the room was entranced, watching these two young teens dance around as if it were normal to know the intricacies of such a strict form of dance. At the last crescendo, they moved back towards the center, ending in their starting position with the words of Frank Sinatra drowned by the applause.

_**gleegleeglee**_

They arrived at LAX around 1:30 in the afternoon, leaving an hour until Noah was expected to meet with Dr. Gerandy's old colleague, Dr. Peppard. Collecting his suitcase, they took a bus to the end of Culver boulevard, looking for a place to get lunch.

Soon enough they walked into Bistro du Soleil, sitting at a table on the terrace, facing the not too distant ocean. Sitting across from each other, they looked over the menu. Deciding to split a bowl of black bean soup and a goat cheese salad, they placed their order with the server. After eating quickly and paying the bill, they walked down the street to the beach.

Once they reached the point where the beach started to slope down towards the ocean, they sat on Noah's letterman jacket. Leaning into his shoulder, Rachel sighed, leaving Noah to look at her. His arm moved, allowing him to hold her to his side.

"Rach, I'll be fine. We're in Los Angeles, sitting on a beach, staring at the ocean for the first time; you need to enjoy the moment." She sighed again.

"Noah, I'm just sad. You'll be here, thousands of miles away from home, where I am. I never really thought about how much I'll miss you." Leaning into him, she relaxed instantly.

"We'll make it work. I'll call you, text you, we could even Skype. I do expect a daily email, and I need to hear your voice. That's probably one of the things I missed most for those few years I was a jerk..." He trailed off, thinking of the days past when he used to throw slushies at her. Her hand found his again.

"Absolutely, Noah. Now lets dip our feet in the ocean; I want to see how warm it is." With that, Noah watched Rachel take off her sandals, before joining her in a run down to the Pacific Ocean.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Roughly an hour later, Rachel and Noah were sitting on the couch in front of the window in his hospital room, waiting for Dr. Peppard to lead them around the wing. Looking out the window, Noah saw the school of medicine across the street, with so many students walking around and leading normal lives. The door opened, showing a tall man with lightened gray hair, holding a file. He held out his hand for Noah then Rachel to shake, sitting at a chair he pulled over towards the couch.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Clark Peppard, as you two already know. I would assume that you are Noah Puckerman," gesturing for Noah to make any corrections. He sat up straight, smiling as he answered.

"Noah is fine Doc. I hope you don't mind me impersonating my favorite cartoon rabbit?" Dr. Peppard chuckled and shook his head.

"Honestly, its fine." He looked at Rachel. "And who are you, my dear?" She smiled lightly before answering.

"I am Rachel Berry, Noah's oldest and ultimately best friend. I will be checking in frequently, both in person and via technology, just to let you know." He smiled back at her, and dipped his head in recognition.

"Pleased to meet you Rachel. The main reason for my initial visit is to explain the schedule you will follow, Noah, as well as general policies. Also, tomorrow, you'll have base tests taken to asses your condition, from which I will assign a treatment..." As Dr. Peppard continued on in his speech, Noah was actively listening and Rachel was taking notes in her notebook.

_**gleegleeglee**_

After four hours, one tour of the wing, three introductions, and an impromptu rendition of "I Wanna Be Sedated" for the orderlies, Rachel was pacing the room. Noah sat in the corner of the couch, typing quickly, trying to reassure Rachel.

"I swear, Rach, I'm almost done hooking my computer up to the wireless network...ah, got it!" He looked up in triumph just as Rachel dove onto the space next to him. She hugged him tightly, looking at the screen in triumph.

"I told you that you should have waited to set up your laptop when we got here! Now, you already have my email address, Skype account, numbers programed into your phone...that seems like everything. And my flight's in an hour." She looked at him, her excitement leaving her face rapidly. He nodded sullenly.

"I knew all day that you couldn't stay too much longer, but I'll still be able to contact you on a regular basis. When you get your schedule, make sure to email it to me; I'll know when to call you then." Rachel stood up, placing her bag at her feet, gathering him into a tight hug.

"Noah, no matter what happens, I'll be here. If you ever need me, just call, and I'll set up a flight." He nodded into her shoulder before pulling away to ask his last question.

"Rach, you won't tell anyone, right? I really don't want anyone in that place thinking of me as some diseased lout when I get back for Senior year." She smiled, immediately responding.

"You really are using that "Word-a-Day" calendar I gave you last Hanukkah! And yes, I'll keep everything under wraps." Running her left hand through his hair one last time, she left the hospital room, smile dissipating.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Sitting in the window seat on her plane back to Ohio, Rachel looked at the setting sun as her iPod shuffled through songs. _I'm really leaving him_, she thought. _For the first time in seventeen years, Noah will be more than a five minute's walk away_. She looked away from the window as the sun began to filter through the cabin, focusing on the music.

As the last piano notes filtered through, the song changed to "Come Fly With Me," the song she had listened to with Noah earlier. Eyes tearing up, she turned off the music, storing it in her purse. The plane was lifting off soon after, with Rachel looking at Los Angeles; the last purple, orange, and pink rays of sunlight shining on both.

_**gleegleeglee**_

_**No colors anymore; I want them to turn black**_**.**

Rachel opened her eyes slowly, glaring at her phone, before going to her closet. Looking for the sweater he gave her years ago, Rachel began to hum along to the music, thinking about Noah's affinity for the Rolling Stones. _He should be calling in about a half hour_, she thought, giving her phone a brief glance.

_**I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky**_**.**

Finding the navy and creme striped sweater, she picked up a pair of jeans and a shirt, heading to the bathroom to get ready for the first day of school.

_**gleegleeglee**_

"...And you still won't tell anyone right? I still can't believe I had to switch to Pentostatin. Doctor P said with the setbacks, I was doing fairly well. I might even get out of here before Sectionals in November, but it depends on the next couple of months." As Noah finished talking, Rachel pulled into the school parking lot, parking near Tina's purple Nova. She switched from earpiece to her iPhone, saying goodbye to Noah, and getting out of her car.

Walking down the main hallway towards her locker, she waved at Artie and Tina. Walking past she didn't see their shocked faces at her relaxed attire. She reached her locker, hearing some of the nearby football players talking.

"And dude, where's that douche, Puckerman? He just stops going to summer workouts, no warning. Even Tanaka didn't know!" She turned to see Finn walk up to the group and ask what was going on.

"Hey man, we were just talking 'bout Puck and him being MIA...it's crazy." Finn just screwed up his face in confusion.

"Puck didn't go to workouts? Eh, we don't need that ass, he only brings trouble. I'll talk to him about it during lunch or something, maybe bruise him up a bit." At this, Rachel scoffed in disgust, walking off to her AP English class; the one she would have shared with Noah, had he not had the infection last August.

Rachel had flown down with Deborah and Sarah when Dr. Peppard called. Apparently, Noah had developed a high concentration of the diseased cells, causing a small infection to get progressively worse. Because of the infection, the treatment he had been put on (Cladribine) was cancelled, changing his treatment timeline from five to six weeks to three to six months.

Because of this change in plans, the hospital had arranged for Noah to work with a tutor to fulfill the McKinley graduation requirements. Through his shared tutor time, Noah had met (and subsequently introduced Rachel to) Cain, a senior from a town near Portland. The two of them became friends quickly, joining the Music Therapy program late August.

A few of the times she had video chatted with Noah, she was pleased to hear some of the songs they had been working on; Noah on acoustic guitar, Cain on bass. She had also given them ideas for new chord progressions and lyrical adjustments, both readily accepting them. It was almost easy to forget that they were half a continent away.

As the day wore on, Rachel finally made it to Glee practice. Walking in, she noticed the room was empty (as was often the case), and texted Noah.

**September 7, 2010**

**2:45**

**Rachel: Hey Noah, how are lessons for you?**

Sitting at the piano bench, she put her phone on the top of the grand piano, playing a somber tune to pass the time. Hearing her phone buzz, she picked it up. Before reading the text, she heard the door open.

**AN 3****: Lastly, I wanted to mention that the link to the dance I used for inspiration can be found on my profile page (you would want to mute it and start "Come Fly With Me" at the same time).**


	5. 05: Tears For You

**AN****: Thanks to everyone who added my story to their favorites/alerts-truly grateful. Also, special thanks go to ****booksmartblonde333**** and ****aussietasha**** for their reviews for this chapter. Oh, and to address reviews...****booksmartblonde333****-rumor mill isn't starting quite yet, and the school has their own simplified ideas of reality, so not quite (for your second question).**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee belongs to the most awesome Ryan Murphy, and the songs "Running Up That Hill" and "Behind Blue Eyes" belong to Kate Bush and The Who, respectively.**

Always

Chapter 5: Tears For You (Puck/Rachel/Other POV)

Ding.

Looking up from his music sheets, Puck searched the room for his phone. Finally finding it under his Gov/Econ notes, he looked at the text from Rachel. Laughing at the simplistic message, he garnered Cain's attention.

"Dude, is that Rachel? Tell her I say hi!" With the enthusiasm Cain showed on a regular basis, you almost wouldn't believe he had skin cancer. After speaking, he went back to fixing the second part of their latest song. Puck shook his head at his newest friend, replying to the text.

**September 7, 2010**

**2:59**

**Puck: Studies are done! C is helping with our mash-up for the next time y'all visit. He says hi, btw. Hows school for you?**

Putting down his phone, he listened to a part of the melody Cain was working on. Once he finished, Puck spoke up.

"Man, I like the chord progression at the end, but maybe for the beginning, you could have it build up. Like hit a crescendo, and just break!" Puck went on to play a few chords, repeating the melody after a point. Cain joined in, adding longer bass riffs as the tune went on.

Reaching the end, they began playing the section slightly faster, reaching the point where the vocals would break through. Smiling over the revisions they made, each boy fixed their composition accordingly.

Ding.

**September 7, 2010**

**3:02**

**Rachel: Eh, its fine. Youre the gossip-everyone wonders where you are. Tell C hi back! Oh, did Pep tell you how this treatment is progressing yet?**

Puck was about to reply back when there was a knock at the door. Dr. P entered the room and noticed the musical explosion by the couch. He smiled at Cain and Puck before speaking.

"Hey you two. Working on your next showcase songs?" They nodded. "Awesome. Noah, I came by to give you the run through for the treatment options available from this point." Cain put his guitar away, taking the case and his notebook as he left the room. Before disappearing from sight, he held up his crossed fingers and smiled, grey eyes twinkling. Puck turned back to Dr. P, waiting for the verdict.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Upon seeing Mr. Shue enter the practice room, Rachel moved from her seat at the piano to the chair on the other side of Artie. After putting down his bag, Mr. Shue began the new year of glee club.

"Hello everyone, it's great to see so many of you back for this year, but unfortunately, we have lost one member; Puck. I was checking attendance today, and he wasn't on the roll for first period Spanish V, which he had me sign a permission form for. I talked to Figgins, and he withdrew enrollment at McKinley." As he spoke, most of the group seemed shocked; Tina and Artie were looking at each other in confusion, before turning to a silent Rachel.

While this was being said, Rachel stared down at her phone, which had just lit up (she put it on silent for glee). Texting back quickly, she turned back to Mr. Shue to hear the end of his speech. Showing no emotion, she glanced down at the darkened screen of her phone, letting her teacher's voice draw her out of contemplation.

"Rachel, do you have any suggestions for today's reinvention project?" She shook her head, effectively surprising most of the club. She smiled slightly, voicing her thought.

"Mr. Shue, could we spend twenty minutes to map out ideas? This course of action will provide a suitable opportunity for my fellow teammates to develop their own songs." He nodded, turning to the rest of the club.

"Everyone, you heard Rachel, you get some time to choose any song and switch it up a bit. Really, get creative! It doesn't need to be perfect, so just...go." Mr. Shue ended with jazz fingers, leaving everyone to break up into their little groups. Rachel decided this was the perfect chance to use the piano, still deciding on a song. Her phone screen lit up as she sat down in front of the piano.

**September 7, 2010**

**3:21**

**Noah: Call Me.**

Rachel paled, taking the phone and leaving the room to call him in the corridor. She didn't notice the two sets of eyes watching her.

Dialing his number, her heart started to beat faster, her mind racing through every possible problem. She heard him pick up the phone, and tensed subconsciously.

"Noah, what's going on?" He exhaled slowly before answering.

"My body isn't taking to the treatment like Dr. P thought it would. He said I'll be put on a more aggressive version of the chemo...more treatments a month. I'm going to lose my hair, feel more nauseous..." His breathing was ragged by now. "I'll have no energy." She began to tear up. _No_, Rachel reminded herself, _I need to keep it together for Noah_.

"Noah, you knew going into treatments that it sometimes needs to get worse before it gets better. You will get better. Now, I have an assignment in glee, so do you want to stay on the line while I perform?" He chuckled, allowing some of her forced enthusiasm to get to him.

"Sure Rach, you know I love your voice." She smiled.

"Ok, I have to put my phone on speaker for you to hear it properly. Just don't speak, and everything should work out." He accepted those terms, and she walked back into the room. Placing her phone in the pocket of her sweater, she walked up to Mr. Shue.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Puck walked over to close the door to his room, writing on his board "Busy. No sounds please," and sat on his couch. Pressing the button for speakerphone, he placed his phone on the windowsill. He heard her voice echo throughout the room.

"Mr. Shue, could I go first?" Puck heard silence before the lid on the piano keys was lifted. Rachel started in on her reasoning behind the song.

"Well, for this challenge, I thought I would take one of my favorite songs by the great Kate Bush, and change it into a ballad. Band, I will not be needing your assistance." With those last words, he heard a breath then the most haunting melody began to play. He wondered why she was focusing on the lower notes of her register.

_**It doesn't hurt me,**_

_**You wanna feel how it feels?**_

As the song progressed, he could feel the emotions coming out of the song, the sadness. _This is like the moment right before she left in August_, he reminisced. Thinking back to the hug and shining eyes, he sighed. _You never know how much you matter..._

Focusing on the song again, he noticed she was singing her favorite part of the song. She had always told him whenever the song played on shuffle that _this is the part that relates to us_. He used to joke that they were perfect people; mistakes were for losers and wimps, which they were definitely not. _But all we have now is problems, setbacks_.

_**Be running up that road,**_

_**Be running up that hill,**_

_**With no problems...**_

_**gleegleeglee**_

While finishing the last notes on the piano, Rachel opened her eyes to the room, glancing around. Quickly ending the call with Noah, she turned for critiques. Mr. Shue was silent for a second before clapping enthusiastically.

The cheerios looked disinterested, with Brittany comparing the size of her thumbs and Santana gossiping with Quinn. Finn was looking at her in annoyance, Mike and Matt sitting awkwardly next to him.

Kurt looked at her with disdain, as if admitting her talent would cause his Alexander McQueen shoes to burst into flames; Mercedes just looked at her copy of Vogue, consciously ignoring Rachel.

Artie and Tina were odd though; instead of looking vaguely impressed by her self-admitted flawless performance, they were staring at her with weird expressions. Artie was thinking about something, what it was, Rachel didn't know. Tina, on the other hand, was looking at her with pride; the type of pride a friend would have for another when they got the lead in the school play. As Rachel wasn't auditioning for another drama-related train wreck, she couldn't understand the look her teammate was giving her. Before she could think about anything else, Mr. Shue spoke up.

"Rachel, that was an interesting song choice. Do you have any other comments on the arrangement or the song that you would like to share?" The following moment, Rachel Berry truly shocked everyone for the first time that school year.

"No, Mr. Shue, and I'm sorry. I need to leave practice early today." Mercedes looked up from her magazine. Mr. Shue shook his head.

"Rachel, you know the guidelines we have for glee: Monday practice is the most important, and I take away performance time if you leave early." Rachel took out her phone, booking airfare for Friday, then looked up at her teacher.

"Really, Mr. Shue? I have matters that need to be seen to. You can take away all the performance time you want, hell, give _Kurt_ the solos. I have plans." With the last word, Rachel picked up her backpack, and walked out of the silent room.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Two hours later, Tina sat on the floor of Artie's room, blocking part of his "A Hard Day's Night" mural. Artie looked at her in confusion, absently plucking out the hook for some Led Zeppelin song. He finally voiced his question.

"So, you think Rachel has adopted this alter ego because she has a 'Yoko?' " Artie looked at Tina, head tilted, recognizing the reference. She nodded, editing one of his tracks in Garageband.

"Think, Artie," Tina tapped her head. "She was our nerdy friend last year, really only hanging out with Puck and talking to people at Temple," Artie looked at her pointedly. "From what I saw when I went, I know. But this year she's crazy different, Puck's missing, and half of the teenagers at Temple are at college. She either has something going on with this guy from Temple or she knows more about Puck than she's let on."

Looking at her in confusion, Artie set down the guitar. He gestured her over; Tina set down the laptop, and sat in the adjacent seat on the couch.

"What aren't you telling me Tina? Since when has there been "this guy form Temple" in connection to Rachel Berry?" Smiling lightly, she answered.

"Temple was like high school a bit, with the groups. I hung out with Rachel, Puck, and this other guy. He was one of the people I mentioned who went off to college this year." Artie looked down at his hands, then up at Tina, before speaking quietly.

"Are you sad that this guy left?" Tina started giggling, confusing Artie. She noted the confusion on his face, and hastened to explain.

"No, Artie, it wasn't like that!" She brushed a green streak away from her face. "He was the most awesome GBF. You might know him actually, remember when Kurt was bitching about that guy from Vocal Adrenaline?" Recognition flickered in Artie's eyes.

"Jesse St. James? The guy Kurt kept prancing around in front of while he talked to Rachel at Regionals last year? I didn't know he was gay." Tina sighed in exasperation.

"Yeah, he just thought that Kurt was a prima donna, and we already had Rachel-" Artie snorted "-So he figured he was fine staying single. He messaged me on Facebook yesterday actually, told me about this funny redhead at his job. Really cute." Artie nodded.

"Where does he work? On campus, right?" Tina smiled.

"Yes, actually. He's majoring in music with a minor in film studies, so he talked to one of his theory teachers and she got him a spot with this musical therapy program at the hospital. That was where he met the redhead, O'Hart, when they sang one of the songs from Temple." Artie smiled, brushing off the navy band t-shirt he changed into after practice.

"It's good of him to help out. If I didn't have my _Sheila_ when I was in recovery, I would have died of boredom..." Tina giggled slightly, making Artie jokingly frown.

"I still can't believe you named your electric _Sheila_. It sounds like some Australian import, and not the awesome kangaroo kind. More like Vegimite." He shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. Anyways, are you hungry? I kinda wanted to get a snack from the kitchen..." Tina's smile grew as she started to rummage through her satchel, pulling out her pale green notebook in triumph.

"I found The. Most. Amazing. Waffles. It was a recipe from one of my magazines, and it was so good. And there's bacon in it; in the waffle!" As she spoke, Artie looked at her adoringly, no trace of any past animosity. He lifted himself into his chair and gestured towards the door.

"After you, m'dear." With that, Tina and Artie went to the kitchen to make waffles, temporarily forgetting their discussion.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Friday afternoon practice came soon, with the majority of the club already sitting in the choir room. Artie was praising Tina on her cooking skills, memories of the bacon waffles ingrained in his long-term memory. Tina on the other hand was looking for Rachel, waiting to ask her to run over the next song in club choir. Mr. Shue walked in.

"Okay, so does anyone have-wait. Where's Rachel?" He looked around the room, noticing, like the rest of the club, that Rachel was the only person absent. Tina pulled her phone out of her bag.

"Mr. Shue, I'll call her; I needed to ask her something anyways." The teacher nodded, pulling out his notes. Tina dialed Rachel's number, ignoring the stares from the rest of glee. After almost ringing out to voicemail, Rachel picked up.

"Hey Tina, my phone was across the room. So..." Tina interjected.

"I volunteered to call. Mr. Shue wanted to know why you weren't at practice. I also wanted to ask if you wanted to run through that Whitney Houston number for choir this or next weekend?" Rachel sighed.

"Could you tell Mr. Shue that I really forgot to tell him Wednesday. I'm gone; all weekend. I get home late Sunday, so I won't be able to do anything until Monday. I can work on the song next weekend though?" Tina's forehead scrunched in confusion.

"Ok, yeah. We could have a dinner thing after glee next friday, if that's ok with you?" When Rachel answered, she seemed distracted.

"Um, ok Tina. I'll see you then." Before Rachel hung up, Tina heard a familiar voice call for her to put down the phone. Tina paled slightly, and turned to Mr. Shue and the rest of the club, waiting patiently for information. She coughed before answering.

"I just talked with Rachel," Santana muttered something in the background, "And she can't make it today. She said she would be gone all weekend." Mr. Shue nodded sadly, hoping to talk to her about her outburst on Monday, as she left right after Wednesday's practice. Kurt and Mercedes were whispering something, the only audible words being "Rachel" and "Diva." Everyone else lost interest pretty quickly.

Artie saw Tina pale at the end of the phone call, nudging her elbow to tell him. She put her head on his shoulder, blocking her face from the rest of the room. Speaking quietly, he had to strain to hear her surprising suspicion.

"I heard Puck in the background."

_**gleegleeglee**_

Turning off her phone, Rachel pocketed it while turning to Noah. His hair was shaved off earlier that morning, right after Rachel arrived at the hospital. Sitting on his bed, he absently strummed his guitar. He looked back at her, eyes showing relief at her presence, and spoke.

"Do you want to go over to the music room? I haven't been there yet, but Cain's scoped it out for our performance on Sunday afternoon; he said it's got great acoustics." She smiled, picked up his keyboard, and stomped her foot in faux agitation. He put his acoustic guitar around his shoulder and opened the door for her.

Walking through the familiar halls, Rachel and Noah would occasionally wave at familiar patients, telling them to come to Sunday's small recital. As they approached the room at the end of the hallway, they stopped their imitations of Sue Sylvester as they heard someone playing piano. Voices matching the piano began to rise, singing along to a classic Who tune.

_**But my dreams, they aren't as empty**_

_**As my conscience seems to be**_**.**

Entering the room, they saw Cain resting his bald head against the familiar shoulder of his companion. Standing there for a few more seconds, their thoughts were confirmed, as the person playing the piano finished and turned to Cain. While he smiled at their friend, Rachel spoke up.

"Jesse?"

**AN 3****: Also, I wanted to mention that my inspiration for the piano cover of Rachel's earlier song can be found on Youtube-it's the first result when searching "Running Up That Hill piano." (I picked it because most of the other versions were to light for that scene).**


	6. 06: Pick You Up From This

**AN****: Thanks again to everyone who added my story to their favorites/alerts (it still surprises me when my phone buzzes with the emails in the middle of my English class :) ) Review thanks go out to ****Liraz****, ****stardust923****, ****.SeDuCtIvE****, ****aussietasha****, ****Myra 'Trory' Dork****, ****DJTCluva****, ****ChamberlinofMusic****, ****booksmartblonde333****, and ****sweetcaroline1986**** for brightening my otherwise dreary days of finals prep work. Addressing general review comments...I have had inspiration (in the form of a friend) for Detective!Artina, so thou shalt read it. Also, it may seem a bit ****too**** AU, but I've added in another OC (for the sake of the club!), so bear with me.**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee belongs to the creative talent that is Ryan Murphy, and the songs "Who'll Stop the Rain," "Moon River," and "Like a Stone" belong to Creedence Clearwater Revival, Andy Williams, and Audioslave (respectively).**

Always

Chapter 6: Pick You Up From This (Puck/Rachel/Other POV)

As his name was called, Jesse St. James turned from Cain, looking at Rachel and Puck. When his eyes hit Puck, they widened dramatically, resembling something from one of their old Hanukkah play workshops. Unlike those workshops of years past, Jesse wasn't trying to show the other kids what a "true shocked face looked like," but was truly feeling so. His eyes went to Rachel's.

"Rach, Noah, what are you doing here?" He blinked slowly, looking from them to Cain before formulating his next question. "Wait-Noah, you can't be the "smokin' piece of kosher turkey bacon" that Cain was talking about. That guy had-" Puck cut him off.

"Leukemia. Yeah, I went in for my physical for football, and I was diagnosed." The shock on Jesse's face wore off quickly, removing himself from Cain's arms, he walked to his friends. Looking at Puck, he took him into a hug. Puck immediately sagged in his friend's arms, beginning to cry for the first time since he found out. Rachel gestured for Cain to come over too, both needing some comfort seeing the two friends reunite after months.

As Puck's tears slowed, he pulled away from Jesse and walked toward a table and sat in the farthest chair. The other three followed suit, facing each other. Jesse spoke up first, tear tracks still glistening in the dulled fluorescent lighting.

"So is it really as bad as Cain said? He mentioned you weren't taking well to any of the treatments, just getting worse slowly." Puck looked at Jesse for a second before looking out the nearby window.

"Yeah. I told Rachel to never miss school, not unless I'm in a bad spot. I found out Monday that the chemo will have to be more aggressive if I want to live to see eighteen. You know how I am man, I bottle up everything. When Rachel got here this morning, I got my hair shaved off, and I really didn't have time to dissipate the feelings." Jesse only nodded, memories of an agitated Puck showing practically no emotion, eventually releasing them on Jacob Ben-Israel during a chess tournament at the Lima JCC.

"Rachel, I'm assuming he told you not to tell anyone else in that stupid town?" Cain glanced at Rachel and Puck as they shared a guilty smile. Looking back at her friend, Rachel answered.

"You know how it is, Jesse. Especially after "baby gate." Almost everyone in glee now is annoying as hell, and we have to replace Noah with someone who'll just conform. I hate the fucking hostility!" The three boys looked at Rachel in shock, then burst out laughing. Laughter flaming out, Cain opened his mouth for the first time in half an hour.

"I never knew you were physically capable of swearing. I thought you had that part of your brain missing or something." With that last sentence, the three childhood friends looked at each other, setting off Jesse and Puck and causing Rachel to duck her head in embarrassment. Cain looked helplessly at the man he had befriended a few weeks ago.

"Well, at Temple, we would hang out with another girl-Noah and Rachel's age. Tina. She's really the only person from Lima, besides Rachel and our families, that I still keep in touch with. She was like the Ginger Rogers to my Fred Astaire, only she practically had three left feet." Puck and Rachel laughed at that.

"I would always talk with her, like Noah and Rachel would communicate, and finally our Rabbi noticed. He said we were like "two people who had lobotomies-each having a missing part of the other's brain." And well," Jesse trailed off, laughing again. Puck picked up the story.

"After Jesse came out to our Rabbi, he loudly deemed that the analogy still applied, but they weren't destined for marriage like Rach and I were apparently. He mentioned that if he were a gambling man, we would be married before we left for college. Hearing him say that, half of the Temple started laughing, and Rachel always goes red at the memory." Puck smiled fondly at the thought, ruffling Rachel's hair, causing her to scowl at him. He turned to Jesse, reminiscing more.

"I remember when you and Tina were yelling at each other over the color of our invitations for Passover last year. Jesse, just because she said the color pink is tolerable doesn't mean that-" Jesse cut him off.

"She wouldn't freak out when the invitations were pink. I know." He nodded solemnly, looking at a smiling Puck. "I've learned to keep bright colors away from Tina. I don't want her to massacre my room again!" With the last statement, Jesse had flashes of his room painted black, all film posters removed in favor of Tina's creepy Talking Heads posters. He shuddered.

Cain looked amusedly at Jesse, remembering their musical discussions and his dislike of muted colors. Chuckling, he turned to the other two teenagers sitting at this table. Rachel and Puck were gazing at each other, none of the previous tension in place. Rachel broke the silence.

"So Jesse, I'd assume you're volunteering in the musical therapy program here...how does that work with your schooling?" Puck looked inquisitively at his friend, Rachel with a neutral expression.

"Of course I'm a music major, minor or double major in film studies, so the volunteering relates somewhat. I randomly decided to pick up this volunteer work simply because I could really help people. Oh, and my Film 10a professor mentioned a documentary project for the spring quarter class; we're supposed to start brainstorming." Rachel interjected, his implication making sense to her.

"Are you planning on filming something here?" Puck and Cain looked interested in Jesse's answer, listening intently when he began to speak.

"I was thinking, after meeting and talking to Cain, about how childhood disease isn't really well known. I mean, people know about it, but not the stuff someone has to go through. I wanted to chronicle like 'A Year In The Life' or something..." He trailed off, looking at the table, missing Puck and Rachel's encouraging smiles. Cain reached for Jesse's hand before he spoke.

"J, to open this world up to people, even just at the university...would be good. I know I feel alone sometimes," he glanced at Puck, "We all do. Our families are really the only people we end up telling, and none of our friends know where we went." Puck picked up from the end of Cain's perspective.

"Jess, dude. You know how much I was hated in Lima, how people feared me. I told Rachel, and our parents-that's it. I left without a word, not because I wanted to protect my reputation, but because I didn't want pity. You could show that to people; show how strong we are, our determination to live a normal life." By this time, Rachel's eyes were glassy, a hand clasped over her smiling face. She nodded her agreement, gesturing with her other hand for Jesse to speak.

"Well, of course I would have to talk to your doctors, see what I could film, but if you're up for this...if you guys really want to do this..." Both boys with shaved heads nodded, the florescent lights of the music room gleaming off of one pale and one freckled skull.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Sunday afternoon came quickly, Jesse returning to the ward the day before to talk to Dr. Peppard about his media rights and regulations for filming. Sitting in two chairs on the left side of the aisle, Jesse and Rachel were quietly discussing her college applications, having started them the Thursday before, waiting for their friends to begin their performance for the ward. Hearing Cain drop his music composition book, Jesse took the small camcorder he was cleared to use out of his messenger bag, ready to film.

Noah walked up to the chair at the edge of the small platform, laying his acoustic guitar next to it. Pulling out his notes, he set them up on the small music stand, and sat down. Picking up the guitar, Jesse watched him glance at Cain before warming up.

Cain, meanwhile, was setting up his notes in front of his cello. Sitting down, he inspected the strings of his bow, then played a few notes. Appearing to be fine, Cain stopped, looking over at Noah for a confirmation to start. Noah smiled, signaling to start. Jesse began to film.

Looking at the fellow patients and families, Noah and Cain went into the beginning of the song, the vaulted room echoing the dramatic chords played. Finally, Cain began to sing, voice lilting above the deeper notes.

_**Long as I remember,**_

_**The rain been coming down.**_

Noah joined in for the next line, progressing into the song heartily. As they continued to play, Jesse took a quick look around the room, most of the group smiling at the rendition. Next to him, Rachel was mouthing the lyrics she had memorized long ago. Nearing the end of the song, Noah stopped playing his guitar, leaving Cain's cello as the only backing music. The two boys finished the song on a low note, applause following. Cain spoke up before they began to play again.

"The other song we practiced actually needs someone else, so Miles, could you come on up and help us out?" A young boy, about ten years old, stood up from his chair in the first row and went to the stage. Noah handed him his microphone, and began strumming his guitar, as Miles introduced the song.

"Um...I worked with Noah and Cain on this song, and it's one of my favorite songs. Mom and dad will know it, uh, the song is called Moon River." With that said, the small boy waited a few seconds before singing along with the music. As he sang, his voice surprised the room; rich and full of emotion.

_**We're after that same rainbow's end,**_

_**Waitin' round the bend.**_

_**My huckleberry friend,**_

_**Moon river and me.**_

Finishing the song, everyone stood to applaud the three patients. Jesse was about to turn off the camera, but caught Rachel's expression; she was smiling, clapping while a tear ran down her face. Looking into the camera, she mouthed a simple phrase: _They were so great._

_**gleegleeglee**_

On Monday morning, Rachel pulled into the McKinley High parking lot. Parking to the left of Tina's Nova, she pulled her purse out of the passenger seat and walked to the choir room. Finding Tina and Artie near the piano, she pulled out her AP Government binder, giving Tina's notes back to her. Tina looked at the notes before asking to look at Rachel's copy of French notes for the video they watched in class the Thursday before. As Tina looked over the notes, Artie struck up conversation with the female soloist.

"So, Rachel, you missed practice last Friday..." Rachel cut him off, missing the look shared between the other two gleeks.

"Yes, Artie, I was out of town. I had important family business; my dad's sister was really sick on Friday and Saturday." This time, she didn't miss the look. "Why are you two asking me all these questions?" Without another word, Rachel left the room, once again missing the gleam of suspicion present in Tina and Artie's eyes.

_**gleegleeglee**_

After last period Advanced Chemistry, Tina and Artie made their way over to the choir room for glee club practice. Through the four classes they shared, the two passed notes and whispered their ideas concerning Rachel. Their collective thoughts ranged from _they're involved in a special government program_ to _Puck was abducted by martians and Rachel's bargaining for his freedom_. Tina shook her head at Artie's last theory.

"T, you know that life on Mars is a probability, so why dismiss my idea?" She giggled before trying to compose herself.

"Artie, I'm just saying that there is a difference between the possibility of life and actual aliens that explode upon hearing a stupid song!" His only response was a look of apology and a shrug of his shoulders.

"Hey, it's an awesome movie. I'm sorry I let it take over our brainstorming. Anyways, I think Rachel was telling the truth about one thing." Tina stopped in the middle of the emptying hallway, turning to face her boyfriend. Seeing her eyebrow raise (quite similarly to Kurt's), he answered her silent question.

"She was out of town; when you called on Friday, she said she was gone. Earlier today, she mentioned she was out of town. Every time she says something like that, it doesn't seem like she's lying, but everything else does." Looking at him with affection, Tina smiled at his explanation, then wheeled him to glee practice.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Glee practice that day seemed to drag on, with nothing really exciting happening except for tryouts. _Truthfully_, Rachel mused, _even the auditions this year were bland_. Looking across the room at the new member of New Directions, Taylor, Rachel scoffed. _Watching the tennis player flirt with Santana was truly disgusting_. Turning away from the majority of the club, Rachel looked into the audience of the auditorium, where Mr. Shue was currently on the phone with someone. Suddenly he stood up from his seat, garnering the room's attention.

"Hey you guys, I have to go discuss something with Principal Figgins, so glee ends early today." Finn and Taylor lead the jocks out of the room, followed by Kurt and Mercedes. Rachel turned to her teacher as Tina and Artie paused in the doorway at the back of the giant room.

"Mr. Shue, can I practice on the piano just a little bit longer? I'll lock the door on my way out, I promise." He nodded, following Tina into the hallway. Rachel waited a few seconds before pulling out her laptop. Turning it on and accessing the school's wireless network, she logged on to Skype. Calling Noah, she smiled when he accepted. His smiling face appeared.

"Hey Rach, where are you? Your background looks familiar..." His eyes lit up in recognition, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You're really in the auditorium...Is your laptop on top of the piano?" Rachel nodded, toying around with melodies on the piano.

"Noah, how was treatment today? Peppard said you were starting today when I asked him last week..." He sighed, looking out the window to his right. He began to speak in a gravelly voice.

"It's really what I expected: pain. I thought what I had before was a crap deal in the world series of poker; this really is like betting and losing an arm. The nurse, Betty, puts the IV in." He looked into her eyes through their technological connection, the physical pain manifesting on his face.

"Rach, my arm always feels like it's on fire. I sat on my couch for the rest of the day, nausea returning, doing nothing. Really, if it wasn't for you..." He trailed off, leaving a tense silence for half a minute, before Rachel spoke.

"Noh Noh, you can't ever give up on yourself. Never. You need to recover for yourself too, otherwise every chemical being pumped into you is practically useless. Please." With that last word, Noah looked away in pain, looking down at his limp right arm. Hearing a sound beyond his laptop, he looked up. Dr. Peppard came into the camera's frame, telling Noah he had a follow-up diagnostic. Rachel bid her goodbyes to both, turning off both Skype and her smile.

Setting up her recording program, she moved the laptop off of the top of the piano to a short table near the back of the stage. Lifting the piano top, Rachel ran through other options, but could only think of one song to play. Sitting down, she played the song that haunted her for her first two years of high school...

_**On a cobweb afternoon,**_

_**In a room full of emptiness.**_

_**By a freeway I confess,**_

_**I was lost in the pages**_**.**

She started to throw every pained thought from those two years into her singing, piano playing getting harsher every second. Flashes of Noah, curly haired and angry, yelling at her. _I never thought you could stoop so low!_ Him walking up to her the first day of high school, throwing the grape slushy in her face.

_**Of a book, full of death,**_

_**Reading how we'll die alone.**_

_**And if we're good, we'll lay to rest**_

_**Anywhere we want to go**_**.**

Him on her front step, begging for forgiveness. Her daddy, Darren, telling him not to come back for a while. Her crying in her room. _I didn't think anything would happen._ Him ignoring her for a week before the slushies become commonplace.

_**In your house I long to be,**_

_**Room by room patiently.**_

_**I'll wait for you there,**_

_**Like a stone.**_

_**I'll wait for you there,**_

_**Alone.**_

Nothing but pretend, a half-life. He was a different Noah Puckerman than from Junior High; he had a mohawk, a permanent scowl, and no patience for talent. Real talent, like he always told Rachel she had. _You'll be famous one day, Rach, and it'll be the two of us together forever_. She wasn't noticeably different; she still wore the short skirts from middle school (albeit, in those colors he hated), she spoke like she memorized a dictionary (which went from a nervous habit to a defense mechanism), and she sang her heart out (but never their song, never). As Rachel played on, she thought back to Noah's words from their conversation: _Really, if it wasn't for you..._

_**And on I read,**_

_**Until the day was gone.**_

_**And I sat in regret**_

_**Of all the things I've done.**_

_**For all that I've blessed,**_

_**And all that I've wronged.**_

_**In dreams until my death**_

_**I will wander on.**_

For the last verse of the song, her voice had risen to this painful attack, trying to dispel the hurt from her long history with Noah. The hurt from her future with him. She was expelling so much pain and anger, closing her eyes to escape any reminders. Closing herself off from the world, she didn't notice the door at the back of the auditorium open. She lifted her fingers off the piano keys and continued the last lines acapella.

_**I'll wait for you there,**_

_**Like a stone.**_

_**I'll wait for you there,**_

_**Alone...**_

Opening her eyes to the harsh stage light, Rachel stood from the piano bench and closed the top. Walking towards her laptop, she stopped the recording, and turned it off. Packing her notes and computer away, she sat down in the middle of the stage, tears beginning to fall. _If it wasn't for me...he would be worse. Come on_, Rachel told herself, _you need to stay strong for him_.

Instead, she huddled in on herself and sobbed. Her tears blurred the figure she consciously recognized, his face reaching her level as he knelt down.

"Rachel, what's going on?"

**AN 3****: Also, though I mentioned it in an earlier chapter, I really don't anticipate posting a new chapter any earlier than Sunday morning (as I am trying to study for finals/overcome a fear of public speaking/maintain my GPA/not trip during graduation...all of which have caused various Crack!Nightmares in the past three weeks), so see y'all then!**


	7. 07: Grey Clouds and Dark Sounds

**AN****: Thanks to all who added my story to their favorites/alerts...definitely made finals week brighter! Review thanks go out to ****aussietasha****, ****Liraz****, ****booksmartblonde333****, ****GingerGleek****, ****ChamberlinofMusic****, ****august29****, ****seacat03****, ****chrpangel****, and ****BendingFate**** for the awesome comments (including the great public speaking tips-my family ROTFLed when they walked in on me reciting "I'm a badass" to the kitchen as I was making tea...). I tried to lighten the chapter a tad, as it should get angsty in the next few chapters, so look out for some references...**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee belongs to the fantastic Ryan Murphy (who managed to get two more seasons guaranteed!), and the songs "¿Viva La Gloria? (Little Girl)" and "Heaven" belong to Green Day and the Talking Heads (respectively).**

Always

Chapter 7: Grey Clouds and Dark Sounds (Rachel/Other POV)

Looking up, Rachel couldn't see anything besides the single blinding spotlight she had left on and the prisms formed from it's combination with her tears. Swiping at her eyes madly, Mr. Shue's face came into her view. Shaking her head, she answered.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing, Mr. Shue. I love breaking down in empty auditoriums, trying to imagine the pain he feels, and-" Rachel stopped talking abruptly, realizing what she blurted out in her moment of hysteria. Her teacher locked onto one specific part of that sentence.

"Rachel, does this have anything to do with your trip over the weekend?" She looked at him blankly, cocking an eyebrow like Noah would've in the same position. Sitting up from the stage, she started to back away from Mr. Shue, hitting the piano bench. This seemed to jolt her from indifference, frowning as she addressed her teacher.

"Why do you care? You're probably only here to keep me from ruining the stage with my tears, and you don't have to worry about that; I have plenty of experience making everything seem perfect." He looked at her confusedly, shaking his head almost imperceptibly.

"This isn't like you Rachel-the crying, the yelling. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm always available and so is Mrs. Pillsbury. You don't need to go through this alone." With those last words, Rachel threw her arms up in frustration.

"With all due respect, Mr. Shue, I don't think you know me enough to judge." His look of compassion turned into one of shock, not knowing where this attitude came from. She continued her speech.

"And really, you think _I_ need someone? My best friend is going through hell while I'm here! He basically just told me that if it wasn't for me, he would stop chemo and die." Her voice cracked on the last word, sending a small tremor through her body. She grasped the piano, holding herself up, and continued speaking.

"Mr. Shue, I really just want to leave Lima, and sit by his side. I've seen what the treatments are doing to him...he's lost more than thirty pounds of muscle, he shaved off his hair so he wouldn't have to see it falling out." Her tears started to fall again, splattering the top of the piano, creating a glittering mess. Her voice came out softly when she continued to speak.

"And really, if after all of this, he dies from the cancer...I really don't know what I would do with myself. Noah's all I've ever had, and I really can't think about a life without him." Mr. Shue showed recognition on his face, shock taking over. He sat in the middle of the stage, running a hand through his curled hair. Rachel sat on the piano bench, looking up when Mr. Shue addressed her and acting as though she hadn't just spoken of Noah.

"Rachel, w-w-when did this happen?" His worry over the former glee member inserting itself into his speech. She wiped away a few remaining tears.

"He was diagnosed over the summer, and has been at the children's hospital at UCLA since early July for treatments. Because his form of cancer isn't as common, they are still trying to find the right treatment." As she finished speaking, she put her head on the top of the piano, facing her teacher. He thought for a second, finally asking the most important question in his mind.

"Is it true, what you said earlier: that he's close to giving up?" The sadness of the situation hung in the room like the dusty cobwebs in Rachel's nana's house. Looking up, she could only nod, bringing his fears to reality. The silence remained for what seemed like an hour (realistically only ten minutes), Rachel finally breaking it.

"You can't tell anyone about this, Mr. Shue; he didn't want people to know." He thought he understood his former student's reasoning, asking Rachel to check. A sad smile morphed onto her face, making the meaning of her words more solemn.

"This town has always been narrow minded-he doesn't want people to think of him as decrepit and worthless. He's still holding onto the idea of coming back and being ignored like usual, as ridiculous as it seems." Hearing this, his decision was clear.

"After all he's been through recently, I think the least I could do is afford him this."

_**gleegleeglee**_

As the week went on, Mr. Shue held on to his promise, letting Rachel leave practice when Noah called her. Between talking to Noah on a regular basis and schoolwork, Rachel was getting back to a semi-normal life. It wasn't until that Friday's practice that things started up again.

"Your assignment for next week is to sing a song by the artist you will each be choosing from the hat of destiny. Finn-you're up first." He walked over to the top hat resting on the piano, and quickly pulled out a name.

"The Kinks...Mr. Shue, I don't know if I feel comfortable singing about sex." As people digested his words, a variety of reactions were displayed: Santana snorted, Brittany reached her hand out (offering to sing _that _song), Kurt giggled at his expression, and the rest of the club to shook their heads in amusement. The newest member, Taylor, spoke up to alleviate his friend's confusion.

"Finn, they're a British band. It's only a name...the music isn't really like...that." Taking his word, Finn walked back to his chair, sitting down without any of the awkwardness he had displayed earlier. After Finn's momentary lapse, the rest of the club chose their artists quickly, Mr. Shue moving in front of the piano to speak once more.

"Ok, since that was the last thing on the agenda for practice today, you can leave early and enjoy your weekend. Also, if anyone wants to use the auditorium for practice today or after Monday's practice, you need to talk with me now." Watching her teammates nod absentmindedly while leaving for the parking lot, talking about weekend plans, Rachel walked over to Mr. Shue.

"If you wouldn't mind, I would like to use the auditorium today?" Her teacher smiled, and gestured towards Artie and Tina, to the left of Rachel.

"Of course, and I'm assuming that you two want to practice on the Monday slot then?" They confirmed, bid goodbye to Rachel and Mr. Shue, then left for Tina's car. Rachel followed her teacher down the hallway to the auditorium, watching him unlock one of the doors, and walk in. He turned to Rachel.

"So Rachel, you know the deal-"

"Yeah, Mr. Shue. You lock the doors when you leave, and I just have to make sure the door closes fully. Thanks for letting me practice in here, by the way." He shrugged.

"No problem, Rachel. I'm a little surprised that you had something to practice on such short notice, as I thought the group you chose wasn't something you would usually listen to, but as I don't really know you well enough..." He referred to her jibe on his assumption earlier that week, "I am looking forward to your performance. See you on Monday." He gave a final wave, locked the door he had previously opened, and left.

With those words, she walked towards the piano and pulled out her laptop, quickly turning it on and accessing the internet. Within five minutes, she was talking with Noah, Cain, and Jesse (the latter two had been showing Noah a clip on Youtube-some new iPod nano commercial-when she called, and decided to give their input) about playing the guitar.

"Really, guys, I don't know if I can do this...I haven't practiced enough. Maybe I'll just get Artie to play it for me." The three boys on the other side of the country showed signs of disbelief. Jesse broke from the silence, speaking up first.

"Honey, you are Rachel fucking Berry. You have been winning every competition you've entered into since you were three months old. Don't worry about your talent: it's a given fact." She saw Cain look at his friend (Or were they something more? She had to ask the two of them later...), curiosity bubbling to the surface.

"Three months old, really?" He then looked at Noah and Rachel [in turn], all three nodding in affirmation. He chuckled, smiling as he commented.

"I guess I shouldn't really be surprised; you've always been this little powerhouse of crazy talent." Noah and Jesse burst out laughing, doubling over in their seated positions, while Rachel pouted. Noah straightened his posture, looking back into her eyes through their laptop screens.

"Yeah, but she's my little powerhouse of crazy talent. Emphasis on the crazy." Noticing the fond tone used in connection with Rachel, Cain and Jesse started to tease their companion.

"Puck and Berry sitting in a-" Cain cut off a laughing Jesse. "Puckleberry! It's like the best celebrity name ever...cuter than Brangelina, definitely..." As he trailed off, Jesse stated to laugh harder, sending Noah and Rachel into a virtual blushing competition-each rapidly turning a pink hue. Rachel tried to redirect the conversation, picking up a guitar from the stand placed off-stage, and bringing it over to her computer. Jesse was still laughing, Noah was pouting now, and Cain was looking between his three companions.

"Come on you guys, you agree right? It's such a cute name!" As Cain tried to convince the three, Rachel shook her head in amusement, plucking away the beginning notes to her chosen song. She tried to focus on the guitar, uselessly trying to ignore that internal voice of hers: _well, it is a cute name_...

_**gleegleeglee**_

That following Wednesday, Mr. Shue walked into practice, and pulled a list out of his satchel. Turning to the club, he showed the order briefly to the group before calling out the first name: Matt.

Walking to the center area of the choir room, Matt told Brad (the pianist) his song, almost immediately starting on his Coldplay song. _His vocal tone is nice_, Rachel mused, _a bit pitchy at times_...Soon enough, his song finished, Matt walking to his seat to the applause of his friends.

Over the next fifty minutes or so, the majority of the club had presented their songs, everyone offering praise and criticism (everyone still laughing at Mr. Shue's correction of Kurt's wardrobe for his take on Jack Johnson-_Kurt, Hawaiian surfers don't wear floral blouses, even if they're Miu Miu_). When it came time for the penultimate performance, Rachel finally stood up. While she walked over to talk to Brad, the rest of the club was speculating what she would sing.

"She'll probably sing that lame graduation song-the slow song." Taylor laughed at Finn's description, nudging his arm.

"Dude, that's the first song you learned to play on the drums...it can't be that bad?" Finn only shrugged, turning to face the empty area in the middle of the room. Rachel soon walked back into the room, carrying an acoustic guitar she borrowed from the auditorium. She looped the strap over her shoulder, placing her fingers in their starting position, and spoke.

"So, as you all know, I drew Green Day for my group. I'm actually a fan of theirs, dating back to my childhood," she smiled at Tina, "and choosing a song to sing was actually really easy. It's one I've been singing randomly since the last album came out, so, here it goes." With that, Rachel began to play the opening chords.

_**Little girl, little girl; Why are you crying?**_

_**Inside your restless soul, your heart is dying**_**.**

Some of the club members recognized the tune, Artie and Tina beginning to hum along. Mild surprise showed on Mr. Shue's face, quickly followed by an appreciation at her acoustic interpretation of a rougher song.

_**Little one, little one; your soul is purging.**_

_**Of love and razor blades, your blood is surging**_**.**

As the song continued on, some of the other glee club members became distressed by the song's lyrics (Finn and Brittany), some were disturbed by the fact that _Rachel_ was singing such a song (Quinn, Santana, Matt, Mike, Mercedes, and Taylor), and others were really absorbing the full picture the song painted in their minds (Kurt, Tina, and Artie). Overall, the most stunning part of the rendition Rachel was singing was the carefree tone and smiles she was employing [contrasting the entity of the song].

_**Runaway,**_

_**From the river to the street.**_

_**And find yourself with your face in the gutter.**_

_**You're a stray for the Salvation Army.**_

_**There is no place to home,**_

_**When you got no place to go**_**.**

Finishing up her song, Tina jumped up, clapping for Rachel; a move that shocked the club members who did not know of their long history together (everyone except Artie and Mr. Shue). A smiling Rachel returned to her seat, waiting for her criticism, Tina's arm looped through her own. A quick glance at Artie (on the other side of Tina), and he gave her a small golf clap and jaunty smile, causing Rachel to chuckle. The silence evaporated as everyone began to speak suddenly, voices being the only discernible factor.

"That was a really Emo choice, Man Hands." Oh, Quinn still could insult with the prowess of any infant.

"I don't get why Rachel was smiling when the song was about people dying-it didn't look right..." Finn kept the scrunched-face look long after voicing his opinion.

"That was such a weird choice for you Diva, though I must admit your performance was good." After saying this, Kurt looked at his best friend in shock, jaw dropping slightly.

"Really, M? I don't know what was wrong with your ears, but I heard probably one of the best renditions of a song about the classic flawed-young-adult. Something most any teenager can relate to on some level..." As he trailed off, he raised an eyebrow, silently daring the rest of the group to disagree. Speaking up to break the tension, Mr. Shue brought the focus back.

"Alright, Santana! What AC/DC song do you have for us today?" Looking back over to her left, she felt comfort in the knowledge of the support of four people in that room.

_**gleegleeglee**_

As everyone started to leave the choir room following glee, Tina bumped Rachel's shoulder with her own, causing Rachel to look over at Tina. She stood next to Artie, him holding both satchels, her with a smile on her face.

"So, Rachel...do you want to come over on Sunday? Artie and Livi will be over to make the dough for the challah bread for the meal after Yom Kippur. I was thinking that since Jesse and Puck aren't here to help you make the Vegetarian stew, we could do all of the prep work together on Sunday and make it easier. What do you think?"

Tina noted the sadness in Rachel's eyes when the names of their absent friends came up. Rachel smiled, accepting the offer for Sunday, and left for the parking lot. Turning around to Artie, Tina cocked her head.

"Artie, did you see the sadness?" He nodded sagely, wheeling forward slowly. They moved in near silence, enjoying the small wind that blew through their hair as they neared Tina's car. Upon getting in, both teenagers fought over the radio, eventually settling on some alternative station. Artie looked at Tina as he spoke.

"Do you think the sadness will ever really leave?" Noticing his reference to their earlier conversation about Rachel, Tina nodded, singing along with a few of the lines she recognized from the song currently playing.

_**When this party's over,**_

_**It will start again.**_

_**It will not be any different,**_

_**It will be exactly the same**_**.**

Artie smiled at his girlfriend's singing, remembering his sketches for the next mural in her room; she specifically wanted one of the pictures from her copy of "Remain In Light," which had freaked out his younger sister (Olivia) when she saw it on his desk. Tina spoke, bringing him back to reality.

"I know that Puck is somehow behind this Robot-Rachel, the sad version. Once we figure out what's going on, we can try to help. Oh, and thanks for helping prep the food-I know that practicing is a sore spot in your family." Artie turned to look at the four-way intersection briefly while he spoke.

"It's ok. My mom knows that your family practices, she's fine with it. Just after the family schism, it brings up tough memories. That's why Livi and I usually don't tell her about eating at your house during the holidays." Tina gave him a sad smile, turning back to face the road as the light turned green.

Driving the rest of the way in near silence, the two subconsciously listened to the radio. When they finally parked in front of Tina's house, neither could think of any way to lift the gloomy feeling that had inhabited Lima, Ohio.


	8. 08: A Day In the Life

**AN****: Thanks to all who continue to read this story (despite the updating irregularities as of now...). Review thanks go out to ****aussietasha****, ****chrpangel****, ****knootz****, ****booksmartblonde333****, ****sweetcaroline1986****, and ****ChamberlinofMusic**** for the commentary. Just to note, this chapter is a bit of filler with some backstory included in the midst, but the next chapter cranks up the intensity! Last major thing I wanted to mention was that this chapter is dedicated to my mum (today is her birthday) because she really explained some of her experiences with chemo, totally aiding me in the writing of this chapter: Thanks Mum!**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee belongs to the awesome Ryan Murphy (who made everyone at my Glee!Party cry at least three times during the finale) and the song "Unforgettable" belongs to Nat King Cole.**

Always

Chapter 8: A Day In the Life (Puck/Rachel POV)

Sunday morning, Puck was sitting in the couch in front of his window by five-thirty AM, staring off at the darkened horizon. Since beginning the more rigorous treatments, he had developed a schedule for Sunday mornings; one that focused on seeing none of his friends.

By five-forty, Puck had gotten bored waiting for the sun to rise in the predictable Los Angeles sky. Watching the storm clouds converge and cover the few visible stars, he walked over to change into hospital regulation sweatpants and T-shirt, before leaving his room.

Around this time of the morning, Puck was usually able to walk through the hallways without acknowledging anyone. Jesse came most everyday, but only after class or lunch, never earlier. Cain had interesting reactions to his treatments, generally causing him to keep odd sleeping habits; the earliest he would ever wake up was seven-thirty.

Turning the last corner, he walked through the doors to the dining hall. As was normal for that time of day, the only other people in the room were the two servers, Chef Aaron, and the onsite nutritionist. After getting his weekly meal plan checked, Puck sat in one of the built-in window seats, waiting for his food to be delivered.

As he sat in isolation, he couldn't help but think about everything he knew back in Lima: his family, his friends, the people he saw weekly at Temple. With every thought of Lima, his frown grew deeper. _Maybe this is a sign_, he thought whilst gazing out the window. _If I ever get better, maybe we could live out here_. Puck was broken from his thoughts as his toast and jam were brought to the table.

Toast and Lingonberry jam; two fairly normal breakfast items with nothing remarkable about them. Ice water to drink, ice chips used to cool the liquid. Just looking at his slight breakfast made Puck squirm; even his breakfast was a reminder of his impending treatment. Nodding in resignation, he started to spread jam on his toast, beginning to eat in moderate silence.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Every weekend, Rachel Berry woke up at eight-thirty (she allowed herself the extra hour as she no longer followed her slightly manic routine of yesteryear, but rather a thirty minute pilates video). After finishing her workout video, she showered, dressed in jeans and a shirt, and went downstairs. She bid both of her fathers goodbye morosely (they had recently put a limit on her credit card after she last flew out to Noah; she stormed out of the room).

With practiced ease, Rachel made four slices of whole grain toast and a small pot of white tea. Taking a soy yogurt from her refrigerator, she put the toast on a plate, and placed both on the table next to her tea.

Looking briefly at the newspaper laying on the corner of the dining table, she shook her head, dismissing the idea of reading about death and destruction that early in the morning (such things were read during dinner, when her day was already in decline). Looking into the light morning sky, she shook her head. _Why bother,? My day is in decline the moment I look out my window_... Blinking away the thoughts, she ate her toast slowly.

_**gleegleeglee**_

The moment he finished his last bite of toast, Puck stood up, taking the remainder of his meal to one of the servers. After handing off his cutlery, Puck walked back into the empty corridor. With every new step taken, he just wanted to turn around and run to his room, hiding under the coverlet of his bed like he did years ago during thunderstorms.

Turning the last corner, Puck stalled in front of the double door entrance. Minutes passed while he stood there, the only sounds heard in that hallway were the ticking of the old clock above the left door and Puck's own faint breathing. Finally hearing faint footsteps approaching the door from inside the room, he reached for the handle on the right, pushing open the door slowly.

Entering the room, he saw the familiar sight of the chairs; one continuing row of chairs, forming a border around the room. The only space of wall not blocked by a chair was another door, presumably one leading to the room where the medicines are stored. He walked over to a chair at his far left, one in the corner facing an open window.

Sitting down, he paused a moment at the faint scent of oranges, eventually scowling. _Damn Robinson was in my chair after dinner yesterday_, he looked out the window thinking, _he always eats fucking oranges before treatments_. Relaxing into the comfortable chair, he enjoyed the last few moments before his day was shot to hell.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Finishing up her toast, Rachel took her empty plate and soy yogurt container to the kitchen, putting both on the counter. Walking back to the dining table, she picked up her mug of tea and went outside.

Stepping out into the cold morning air, she only really noticed the weather by the strong breeze blowing her hair away from her face. Bypassing her sandals, she walked barefoot through the damp grass to the gazebo in the corner of the garden. Reaching the gazebo, she sat in the swinging bench seat, watching the storm clouds gather slowly in the sky.

As she gently sipped her tea, Rachel thought about the holidays this year; this would be her first Yom Kippur (and holiday in general) spent without Noah or Jesse. _Growing up with the two of them and Tina...that's what cliché teen movies are based off of_. With that simple thought, her mind flashed through a multitude of memories of the four of them; Noah playing the few songs he knew on guitar while the other three sang for their grandparents, picnics organized by Tina at the lake, Jesse color coordinating their holiday attire.

Looking back at the angry sky, Rachel wondered if the weather was acting up as horribly in Los Angeles. Shaking her head, she looked down at her tea before she took the last sip. _Lima's full of discontent, it makes sense for the weather to match the mood here; Los Angeles must be sunny_.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Click.

Click.

Click.

With every quiet step, Puck's heart beat increased, his body reacting to what it knew was coming in the hands of the doctor. Looking up into the eyes of Dr. Franklin Hayes, he nodded, greeting the other occupant of the room tensely. Dr. Hayes placed the tray on the side table next to Puck's chair before walking to another chair a few feet over. Rolling a pole to hold the medicine over, the doctor placed it to the right of Puck, opposite the window.

Working silently, Dr. Hayes attached the pentostatin to the pole, moving back to the rest of the materials on the tray. Picking up the small needle attached to the cannula, the doctor motioned for Puck to unclench his right arm. Relaxing his arm, Puck exposed his bruised elbow to Dr. Hayes, allowing him to insert the needle. As was common, the teen flinched slightly.

Turning to face the window for the next part, Puck clenched his eyes shut, trying to block out his surroundings and what was happening to him. He tried to distract himself by counting each breath he took, ignoring the bustling next to him as the chemical drip was set up.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Four._

_Five._

_Six._

_Seven._

_Eight._

_Ni-_

A pressure began to move slowly through his elbow, cutting off his counting. Cursing under his breath, he opened his eyes slowly. Puck sat in discomfort, in an empty room, watching as the sun peaked out from over the buildings and through the dissipating clouds for the first time in seventeen days.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Walking back into her house as the rain fell lightly, Rachel placed her empty mug in the sink before glancing at the nearest clock; nine-fifty. She had to be at Tina's house by ten-thirty that morning. For ten minutes, she looked through the cupboards and the pantry for her ingredients, stacking them lightly in a bag.

Slinging the bag onto her shoulder, she slipped her feet into her shoes and walked out the front door. Looking at her neighbor's houses idly, Rachel saw no one else outside. It was probably the cloudy skies, but she shook her head in dismissal and kept walking. Crossing the intersection, she started the fifteen minute walk to her friend's house, enjoying the silence.

But for those fifteen minutes, the silence was anything but peaceful; her mind always went back to the reason for the silence. Upon Noah's diagnosis in late July, Rachel had practically expanded her life to deal with his problems as well. Most every minute of her day (even whilst absentmindedly copying notes in class), she thought about the information she's learned about his leukemia: the onset and initial danger, the different treatment options...even the possible side affects and how to deal with them.

Sighing, she walked the familiar route slowly, her thoughts weighing heavily. The thought that appeared most frequently over the weekend was that of the upcoming Sundays. When she had visited Noah two weeks ago, he was still on a routine of having chemotherapy once every two weeks, so he didn't need it then. The following Sunday, Dr. Peppard told him that he needed to increase the treatments to once a week.

She got a text from him about it...basically right after he was told. She never really thought about what this meant, as his previous treatments were held during the week, and they would avoid talking from the moment he went in (mid-afternoon) for the rest of the day.

His chemo was set for Sundays. Because of the increase in treatments, he felt sick and irritable for the remainder of the weekend. Rachel had forgotten about this briefly, and tried to call him; he ignored the call. For about five minutes after she realized why he ignored her call, she sat at her table sobbing. For the following five hours, she practiced playing her guitar; specifically, she practiced their song, the song he's played for her for the past ten years.

Waking up this morning, she remembered clearly what she had to do: cook with Tina, clean the living room, and ignore the nagging feeling in her heart telling her to call Noah. Being Rachel Berry, she was extremely determined to accomplish all three things, no matter their difficulty. She had her work cut out for her.

_**gleegleeglee**_

About halfway into the two-hour treatment, Puck heard a few people walking down the hallway to the treatment room. Whenever the silence was disturbed by the presence of others in the room, he took out his old iPod to listen to music. Not _really _music, just one song.

Inserting the old headphones that came with the device, he dutifully ignored the other patients and their doctors. Scrolling down the list of songs, he took his time in reaching the familiar song, finally clicking on it's name. Letting the opening notes of the piano wash over him, he could almost hear her speaking directly to him.

_**Unforgettable,**_

_**That's what you are**_**.**

Puck thought back to the first time she said those words to him: the night before their first day of kindergarten. Whenever their parents rehashed their lives, this was always the first memory brought up (otherwise, he probably would have forgotten). The picture helps too...the one of them holding hands. His mum had taken the picture right after she had said that.

_**Unforgettable,**_

_**Though near or far**_**.**

That conversation began when Rachel was talking about the things she was going to accomplish on her first day of school. In the midst of her speech about coloring inside the lines, he started to cry. She, in true Rachel Berry fashion, started freaking out. After he stopped crying, little Puck explained his reasoning.

_**Like a song of love that clings to me,**_

_**How the thought of you does things to me**_**.**

Puck had always had a different plan for his life; he wanted to live in the moment, not really making any plans for the future. He had thought she would leave him for other kids who wanted to do the same stuff; thankfully, he was wrong.

_**Never before has someone been more**_**...**

She took both of his hands in her own, looking straight into his eyes, and ignoring everything else. _You idiot_. With each word, she tugged at his limp arms. _I would never leave you-you're my best friend!_ With those simple words, their tiny faces sprouted smiles; their momentary glee enough in that moment to miss the flash of Deborah Puckerman's Kodak camera.

_**Unforgettable,**_

_**In every way**_**.**

From that point on, she always broke out that song whenever he needed cheering up, no matter their age. Before starting cancer treatments, he last listened to the song when she showed up at his house the Monday after Sectionals; the afternoon following Quinn and Finn's reconciliation.

_**And forever more,**_

_**That's how you'll stay**_**.**

For thirty minutes, he held her while she cried over Finn (or who he had called "The Jackass"); the following thirty minutes, he listened as she badmouthed his baby-mama (affectionately referring to her as "that misguided trollop he had the misfortune of sleeping with"). The remaining four hours before his mum came home were spent baking six batches of oatmeal cookies and a "Happy Monday" carrot cake, and listening to this song on repeat.

_**That's why darling, its incredible.**_

_**That someone so unforgettable,**_

_**Thinks I am unforgettable too**_**...**

For now, this was all he needed: the numbing memories associated with this song. For the next hour, he could listen and focus on the now, rather than the many hours after chemo [which would involve sitting in the silence of his room, crying silently for everything that wasn't].

_**gleegleeglee**_

For the past ten minutes, Rachel had been stirring the Vegetarian stew in silence. After trying to initiate some conversation between her guests, Tina gave up; Rachel couldn't really focus and the Abrams siblings, Artie and Olivia, were caught in the middle of a fight between their parents over their celebration of Jewish holidays. As it was, Rachel was stirring the stew, Artie and Tina were looking for a flour sifter, and Olivia was measuring the flour.

Breaking the awkward silence was a paled Olivia; she had taken a small step, slipped on a small puddle, and upended the entire half-pound bag of organic flour. When she slipped, she let out a squeak (similar to that of a mouse). The four teenagers looked at each other briefly before cracking up.

Looking around at her companion's faces, Rachel almost felt her smile internally, like she was fully happy. _Numb_, she thought, _is probably a more appropriate term for my emotional range these days_...Mentally clearing those thoughts, she focused on the current situation rather than the five hours she would be at home alone, left in the dark to cry for everything Sunday's represented.


	9. 09: Speaking to a Wall

**AN****: Thanks to all of the readers and the multitude who subscribe in one form or another. Review thanks go out to ****DJTCluva****, ****iamladyliberty****, ****Liraz****, ****booksmartblonde333****, ****Aurorajaye****, ****twilightangel61090****, ****aussietasha****, and ****ChamberlinofMusic****-your reviews continue to make me laugh, smile, and be inspired to continue the angst I love to write!**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee (and the great reruns currently playing Thursday nights 8 on FOX) belong to the creative genius that is Ryan Murphy...sorry, no songs this chapter. :(**

Always

Chapter 9: Speaking to a Wall (Rachel/Puck/Other POV)

As the weeks passed following Yom Kippur, Puck had started to cope better with the larger influx of treatments. That wasn't to say he didn't still have his colder moments (namely, sitting in his room for hours after treatment, silently), but he started to talk to Cain and Jesse a little more.

Each Sunday following chemo, Puck sat on his couch, facing the buildings outside his hospital room. Cain sat on the opposite end of the couch, entire body turned toward his pained friend. Jesse was in a chair placed in front of the bed, his camera set upon Puck's closed laptop, recording every heartbreaking second.

For the last hour before sunset, the three boys talked quietly of their days, as well as any problems they were having. So far, Puck had spoken no more than ten short sentences during these talks. Cain and Jesse were hopeful that he might open up more over time, but Rachel was doubtful.

After leaving Puck's room, Jesse usually walked Cain to his room, and left for his dorm. The fifteen minute walk between the hospital and his dorm gave Jesse time to think about one of the many things going on in his life: helping at the hospital, Rachel, Cain, and Puck.

Volunteering with the musical therapy program was going smoothly; after the first month, the entire staff knew about Jesse St. James and his joyful disposition. He helped out at least ten children with music lessons and was even giving composition lessons to Miles Griesz, the kid who sang with Cain and Puck at the first showcase. At ten years old, his talent was already developed pretty well, leaving no real need for voice lessons.

Jesse managed to communicate with Rachel on a pretty regular basis, usually through web chatting or phone calls. Despite the constant stream of communication, Jesse could feel her pulling away from him as each day passed. Back in Lima, they used to talk about almost everything under the sun when they hung out after Temple with Puck and Tina. He figured most of her withdrawal from him was due to the relative unfamiliarity of the situation; they would probably revert to their usual friendship in a few more weeks. _Probably_...

While Rachel was pulling away from him, Cain was getting closer, mostly through their daily talks at dinnertime. Practically since the beginning of his volunteer work at the children's hospital, Jesse had been accompanying Cain to dinner; at first, they had just kept talking halfway through dinner before realizing the time.

Now, they moved through almost an established pattern every night: put away musical instruments (cello for Cain, violin for himself), walk the hundred and five steps to the dining hall (they had counted one night), sat down at the two-person booth next to the center window as one server rushed to the kitchens to place their order, began eating the spinach salad first, and continued their discussion of various subjects while they ate. After months of this established pattern, they could easily consider each other close friends...

If close friends occasionally kissed.

The week before, for the last half-hour of Jesse's time in the hospital, they had started to shoot questions back and forth, each answering. When Jesse asked about his "first kiss," Cain could only shake his head, blush, and avert his eyes. Lifting the younger man's jaw with his left hand, Jesse silently asked Cain, receiving a small nod in return. Moving in slowly, they maintained eye contact until their lips met.

Immediately closing his eyes, Jesse moved his lips almost imperceptibly, adding a slight pressure to the kiss. Breaking away after less than fifteen seconds, the first thing Jesse saw was Cain ghosting his fingertips over his lips. Breaking out of his trance, Cain closed the distance between them, shocking Jesse for the second time that day.

Feeling two arms wrap around him as tightly as they could, he relaxed into Cain's hug, wrapping his arms around the younger boy in turn.

Shaking his head from his memories, Jesse thought of the last person he often reflected upon during his walks back to the dorms: Puck. He seemed to be getting better, mentally if not physically, at least-that was an established fact. And yes, he actually smiled today when Cain threw out a tasteless joke ("He'll never understand how hard it is-" "That's what she said!" "I meant Calculus...").

As Jesse walked down the third floor hallway, one last thought appeared in his head: _despite the lighter feelings now, why do I get the impression that everything is going to Hell_? Forgetting the thought, the music major unlocked his room, shutting out the questioning silence.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Sitting on her bed the next day, Rachel stared at the screen of her laptop, relishing in the feeling of that moment. With one click, she will be completely done with college admissions for next year; she had sent in her applications for NYU, Dartmouth, Juilliard, Loyola Marymount, and Stanford the last week of September. Checking over the application summary, Rachel made sure she included all of her preferred schools (UC Irvine, UCLA, and UC San Diego).

Click.

Waiting in silence for a few seconds, she heard her email sound, notifying new mail (really just the confirmation mail). After moving the email to her newly formed "College" folder, Rachel sat back against the pillows, breathing deeply. _No songs left to practice for Friday's showcase that can't be practiced _tomorrow_. _Just as she began to settle into a peaceful oblivion, she glanced at her phone. Dialing quickly, she waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

Noah.

"Hey Noah. Guess what I finally submitted: my UC apps! I finally finished..." She could hear him sigh on the other end, frustrated she was bringing it up again. She put her phone down, setting it on speakerphone, and began to file her nails. He spoke from where they last left the conversation.

"Rachel, I am honestly happy for you, applying to all of the universities you did. You really don't need to bring me along with you." Sensing the implied defeat in his voice, she put down her nail file, glaring at the phone.

"I am not simply "bringing you along with me" Noah, you are strong enough to carry yourself through life. You need to believe that." Noting the pause, she picked up the cuticle clipper, working on her left thumb first. He began to speak.

"I love how you believe in me constantly, but you need to be more realistic about this situation; I have cancer-a proven fact. I am getting treatment-another fact. A fact I never mentioned to you-I feel like dying every time I look at the Pentostatin. Between this cancer and the constant need to search out a bottle of Vicodin, I'm probably not going to make it back to Lima, let alone off to a college."

With that last sentence, the cuticle clipper slipped from her thumb, cutting a large gash across the back of her hand. Gasping in pain, she tried to keep the blood from overflowing onto her white comforter. Eyes darting around the room, she spotted an old sweatshirt at the top of the laundry hamper, running for it.

About halfway across the room, she stumbled on her bookbag, attempting to brace herself with her injured hand. Letting out a small cry of pain, she ignored Noah's panicked voice on the line, instead reaching for the sweatshirt. Wrapping it around her hand, she finally focused on her phone (still on her bed).

"Rachel, what's happening over there? Did you hurt yourself or something?" She glared at the phone, thinking that he could somehow feel her anger and shock across the country. When she spoke, she was sure he could feel her anger.

"Noah, what's the big deal? You want to die, to hurt yourself. If you want me to accept that, then you need to accept what's happening on my end: sadness, depression, and a whole mess of pain. Think about that next time you spring such news on me." She disconnected the call, leaving her phone on the bed.

Looking at her bloodied hand, she figured it would need stitches. _I better find the first aid kit then_...Shaking her head at the surplus of emergency materials kept in her house, she walked off to find a bucket of ice water.

_**gleegleeglee**_

_Shit_.

Looking around his near-empty hospital room, her words flowed through his mind. _You need to believe that_. Gripping his head with both hands, he started to think of a way to fix the mess he just launched himself into.

_You are strong enough to carry yourself through life_.

His eyes grew wide with realization. Jumping put of his bed, he went to his laptop, opening up an internet browser to do his research on.

_**gleegleeglee**_

The moment the last class of the day let out Friday afternoon, all glee members made their way to the auditorium for one last practice. While talking to Artie about his lighting design for the night, she threw the occasional glance at the promotional posters littering the hallways. Designed by Kurt and Mercedes, they included a group shot taken on Wednesday with everyone in their varied formalwear.

Finally reaching her destination (the choir room), Rachel held the door open for Tina as they both watched Artie venture towards the Spanish classroom (where Mr. Shue was having the boys get ready). Walking into the familiar room, she looked for the hangers and their vintage dresses.

The idea of vintage actually came from Kurt who, in a moment of Roman Holiday inspired madness, designated a 1950's theme to the night. As Kurt seamlessly transitioned into discussing wardrobe with Mercedes, their teacher really had no room to object.

This idea worked out perfectly for Rachel after slashing open her hand Monday night, as she called dibs on all outfits including gloves. Looking over her costume rack, she found all three outfits hanging before her: the casual school outfit, the cocktail dress, and the formal dress. Having finished arranging all accessories with their matching outfits, she walked towards Kurt, who was going between the two rooms doing hair and makeup.

He quickly put her hair in a curly ponytail, matching easily with her first outfit. Changing quickly, she walked over to the rest of the girls, each wearing similar blouses and black ankle-length leggings. Standing next to Tina, she saw the other girl's badly hidden disgust at her outfit and started to giggle.

"Rachel, I swear Mercedes does this just to spite me. Everyone with a working brain cell knows of my distinct hatred for pink ruffles, yet she decides to give me the most hideous blouse in stock!" With that, Tina stomped her foot, causing Rachel to give her a one-armed hug.

"T, it'll be fine. The next song, your dress is solid black; it's a compromise. Come on, we have one more run through before we go on at six." She took her friend's hand and dragged her out the door towards the auditorium.

_**gleegleeglee**_

"So she told you she had her dad filming the show for us?" Across from him, Jesse St. James nodded in excitement. Sitting on the couch in Puck's room, he looked at his friend in concern.

"Man, are you sure you're feeling alright? I could call up Peppard for you." Puck shook his head, face slightly flushed.

"I'm fine, it's probably just more nausea. I gotta stay tough for Rach though-she's really pissed at me now cause I let slip how I felt about the leukemia..." Jesse looked at him in confusion, gesturing for him to continue. As Puck went to speak, he started to cough, taking a sip of his water before continuing.

"I told her the truth-each day I spend feeling the effects of the Pentostatin, I think about my life. If this doesn't end up killing me, I don't want to have to suffer for whatever time I have left." Jesse looked at him in alarm, seeing a side to his friend that had remained dormant for the earlier years of his life. Leaning in closer, he spoke the next sentence softly.

"Are you suicidal then?" Puck looked down at his blanket mournfully, forehead starting to perspire lightly. He nodded.

"No offense man, but I wake up every morning totally and completely lost. I spend treatment days in some form of isolation for the majority of the day, and I think. When I look around the treatment room, I sometimes want to go up to Samantha and take her Morphine, end it right then. But as usual, Rachel made me think about everything-she taped the options to my face practically." Jesse nodded in understanding, having hundreds of memories of Rachel's strong-as-hell personality. Puck shrugged in a form of defeat, his motions becoming more sluggish as each second passed.

"I took what she said to heart though; I sent in my-" Before finishing his sentence, Puck grasped his head in pain, leaning over the bed. Jesse rushed to his side immediately.

"Nurse, someone-help!"


	10. 10: Your Melody

**AN****: Super-thanks to all of the readers, subscribers, and people who have favorited; I have decided that in the spirit of reaching chapter ten, the person who submits the 100th review (not entirely too far away) gets to request a one-shot based on a missing scene from this story. Review thanks for last chapter go out to ****aussietasha****, ****Astaralis****, ****Liraz****, ****cheapen****, ****twilightangel61090**** (name twin!), ****anonymous dream****, ****booksmartblonde333****, ****sweetcaroline1986****, ****slaygurl****, ****Aussie Panda****, ****DJTCluva****, ****Going Rogue****, and ****Berlian****-I'm just trying to write a decent story that pops up in my head at the most random moments (baby shower...), and your feedback always makes my day! Lastly, the links to the pictures for the two cocktail dresses as well as the formal gown Rachel wears can be found on my profile.**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, and the songs "Great Balls of Fire," "Beyond the Sea," and "Unchained Melody" belong to Jerry Lee Lewis, Bobby Darin, and the Righteous Brothers (respectively).**

Always

Chapter 10: Your Melody (Rachel/Other POV)

The last run through before the showcase that night was practically flawless-Finn needing last minute dance help-and New Directions was officially beginning the 2010-11 show choir season in five minutes. Rachel stood backstage, waiting for Figgins to introduce them, and watched Kurt fix his step-brother's hair one last time (his dad and Finn's mom got married over spring break last year). Hearing the feedback from the microphone, the twelve moved into place behind the curtain.

Glancing around once more at her teammates, Rachel couldn't help but feel an empty pang as she saw Taylor Hardin standing in Noah's place. Turning again towards the curtain, the club was set in a sporadic pattern across the stage when the music began to play. As Brad played the opening riff, each singer looked up sharply and began to sing. Rachel and the rest of the girls twirled across the stage, flitting out of reach as the boys sang accordingly.

_**You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain,**_

_**Too much love drives a man insane.**_

_**You broke my will-oh what a thrill,**_

_**Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire**_**!**

The boys, dressed in cuffed jeans and old red letterman sweaters, moved slowly towards the front of the stage as they continued to sing. The girls, meanwhile, broke off and began to dance at various points on the stage, covering most of the space. As the song finished up, the audience reaction was pretty unreadable; Rachel noted the night's tone would be set in the applause after this number.

_**I say goodness, gracious, great balls of fire**_**!**

The twelve teens bowed their heads with the final line, looking up only at the loud clapping and whistling they were getting in response. The club beamed at the audience as they left the stage for a quick costume change. Looking around at the much-less hostile faces, Rachel reveled in her performance high.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Everything happened quicker than he could process; Jesse was shoved to the side as Peppard and two nurses rushed in. Sitting on the couch, he watched in silent horror as Peppard began to work on a now convulsing Puck. Less than a minute passed before a stretcher entered the room, the three medical professionals moving his friend carefully. Before he knew it, Peppard was rushing Puck down the hallway and through a set of doors, leading to some unknown place.

Closing the door to his friend's room, Jesse ran down the hall to Cain's room, pulling out his cell phone on the way. As he reached Cain's room, he found his friend/boyfriend/person of relative familiarity (nothing's been established yet) lounging on his bed, much as Puck had been only ten minutes before. Dialing a familiar number, he gave a simple explanation to the room's other occupant.

"Something's wrong with Puck."

_**gleegleeglee**_

In a crowded auditorium in Lima, Ohio, Deborah Puckerman was talking quietly to Darren and Isaiah Berry about suggestions for Sarah's dance classes. Sarah interrupted the the topic of advanced jazz classes to tell her mother that her purse was buzzing, before going back to talk to her best friend, Olivia. Deborah looked around at the buzzing room before excusing herself from the conversation, making her way to the lobby to answer the call.

Looking at the screen, she frowned in confusion; _St. James...Jesse_? Answering the call, Deborah heard a familiar voice.

"Jesse? Why are you calling me-I thought you and Noah were talking tonight?" She heard him breathe in shakily, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Mrs. P, something's happened to Puck-I don't know what-but he just about passed out. I called for Peppard, and he and the nurses took him a-a-away." With the last word, all of the notorious St. James composure broke, bringing real fear into her heart. When she spoke, it was in a quiet tone she hadn't used since her fiancé left over ten years ago.

"Jesse, you'll keep vigil until we get there, please?" She heard his teary affirmation and hung up. Hearing the chatter begin to die down inside, she figured the second song was about to begin. Taking a deep breath before walking back into the auditorium, she held her phone in a death grip, refusing to lose contact with the device that would bring her news.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Standing in a half-circle facing the audience, the group waited for the curtain to raise for the second time that night. Rachel looked at her fellow club members, their appearances spruced up slightly from the last performance; the girls had cocktail dresses in creme or a black lace overlay, while the guys all had khaki pants and button-up shirts rolled to the elbow. Hearing the feedback from the microphone as Figgins introduced them once more, they looked out to the audience. Once the music began, Artie rolled forward slightly, singing lead.

_**Somewhere beyond the sea,**_

_**Somewhere waiting for me**_**...**

Throughout the majority of the song, the choreography was kept simple; the girls occasionally spun around the guy next to them, Finn spinning both Quinn and Rachel in the center back. As they reached the instrumental break in the song, the entire group, bar Artie, did a small circular tap step. After finishing a complicated half turn, Artie faced the auditorium for the last part.

_**We'll meet beyond the shore,**_

_**We'll kiss just as before.**_

_**Happy we'll be, beyond the sea,**_

_**And never again, I'll go sailing**_**.**

Finishing strongly with one last spin, the twelve looked down once more on the last note. As the curtains closed on applause once more, Rachel joined in, smiling along with the rest of the club. As they neared the choir room, where the girls were changing, she decided to take a detour for water.

"I'll be back in a second guys, I'm getting some water."

Without even a glance backwards, Rachel walked towards the closest water fountain in the lobby of the auditorium. A few seconds passed as she finished drinking, hearing voices nearing.

"Mum, what do you mean you got a call from Jesse-isn't it the night he's supposed to talk with Noah?" Sarah and Deborah Puckerman came into Rachel's view, bringing up one question in her mind. Stepping forward, Rachel spoke.

"Deborah, what happened?" Seeing the older version of Noah's hazel eyes well up with tears, Rachel began to shake. Depositing herself on a nearby bench, Sarah sat next to her, grasping her hand in comfort as they found out what happened.

"As you said Sarah, he was with Jesse tonight. From what Jesse told me, he passed out and Dr. Peppard and the medical staff at the hospital are working on him. No one knows exactly what's going on. Rachel, Sarah-do either of you want to fly out tonight?"

Rachel stared in silence at the old trophy case across the room from her. Sarah, who began to cry early into the explanation, nodded frantically. Squeezing the younger girl to her side, Rachel nodded slowly, looking up to see Deborah typing into her phone.

"When are we leaving?" A frown met her gaze, belying the obvious sadness of the situation at hand.

"The next flight available isn't until ten, so we have one and a half hours until check-in. Rachel, we'll have to leave right after your last set-is that ok?" The older teenager nodded robotically, her subconscious allowing her to speak as she processed everything.

"Sure, I'll be in front of the choir room in the first hallway; I just need to get my bag before we leave." Rachel was shocked out of her thoughts with Deborah's sudden hug. As her boyfriend's mum pulled away, she pulled Sarah to her feet.

"Perform for Noah, hon. Every emotion you feel needs to be in this performance...just let it all out." Rachel was left alone in the lobby, so she began to walk back to the choir room.

Walking into the bustling room, Rachel went to her costume rack, ignoring Santana and Quinn yelling at her for lateness. Quickly changing into her floor-length gown, she picked up her shoes, and went over to Kurt to let him pin her hair up; he deemed a ponytail too "casual" for the outfit she was wearing, allowing her to be the only one in the club with an up-do, and pulling out everyone else's ponytails.

As she slipped her feet into the creme satin pumps she brought from home, Tina approached her cautiously. After standing there for a minute in silence (ignoring Kurt's directions for Brittany to "not call the vintage green dress she wore a _grass cape_-its Valentino for crying out loud!"), she spoke quietly, Rachel being the only one able to hear.

"If you need to talk Rach, I'm always here-don't forget that."

The six girls (and Kurt) left the room, Rachel slipping on elbow length creme gloves as she walked, arriving behind the curtain once more. While everyone else started to arrange the stools in a shallow crescent facing the audience, Rachel found Mr. Shue off to the side.

"I can't go to the after party, Mr. Shue. Something's happened, and I-I need to be there for him." Her voice started to waver as her eyes grew misty. Her teacher blanched, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Are you sure you can handle being in front of everyone now?" She nodded resolutely, lightly touching her mint green dress.

"I promised him I would knock his socks off when he saw the video of the performance; who am I to deny him that because he's in the ER?" With that, Rachel moved to her place in the crescent (center, between Finn and Brittany), the curtain rising slowly for the final time that night.

Rather than use instruments, as they had for the previous two songs, Kurt had suggested an acapella take on their final song. Each of the twelve students began to sing the background before Rachel broke into her solo.

_**Oh, my love, my darling,**_

_**I've hungered for your touch, a long lonely time**_**...**

As she began to sing the next lines of the song, she stood up from the stool, causing the rest of the club to look on curiously at the unscripted move.

_**And time goes by so slowly,**_

_**And time can do so much...**_

_**Are you still mine?**_

She slowly walked up towards the front of the stage, looking out into the sea of unknown faces as she thought of the unknown condition of the man she loved. _Wait, loved?_

_**I need your love,**_

_**I need your love,**_

_**God speed your love to me**_**.**

As Rachel stood at the forefront of the room's attention, gown sparkling under the spotlights, she couldn't help but bare her soul to this group of strangers.

_**Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea,**_

_**To the open arms of the sea, yeah**_**.**

As she continued to sing, she mindlessly searched for familiar faces. She easily found her fathers sitting with Deborah, Sarah, and Artie and Tina's parents-the glint of the camera was slightly visible.

_**Lonely rivers sigh, 'Wait for me, wait for me,'**_

_**I'll be coming home, wait for me**_**.**

While she sang those last lines, her eyes began to water once more, tears threatening to spill over if she kept singing. She looked up at the spotlights, one tear escaping.

_**Oh my love, my darling,**_

_**I've hungered, hungered for your touch!**_

_**A long lonely time...**_

The audience watched in rapt fascination, seeing this young woman, this girl, give a performance rivaling many professional versions of the song.

_**And time goes by so slowly,**_

_**And time can do so much...**_

_**Are you still mine?**_

By the last lines of the song, Rachel was singing with everything she had, stunning the room. The rest of the club had stopped singing for the last lines, giving Rachel's voice sole control of the auditorium for that moment. If it wasn't for the steady rivulets of tears falling form her face, everything would have seemed quite perfect.

_**I need your love,**_

_**I-I need your love.**_

_**God speed your love to me**_**.**

Rachel's eyes were still closed as the last note hung in the air, allowing her to fully experience the complete silence lasting seven seconds. Then the applause broke, flooding her senses immediately. Opening her reddened eyes, she watched the crowd of five hundred rise to their feet sporadically, giving her a standing ovation.

The rest of the club joined her at the forefront of the stage, everyone taking their bow. The curtain fell soon after, allowing some semblance of privacy as they all went to congratulate each other on a great performance. After hugging a crying Tina and solemn Artie, Rachel snuck out to the choir room, tear tracks dried on her face.

Reaching the room, she noticed the late hour, and began to throw her jeans and sweater from earlier into her bag. Running to the back of the room, she picked up her homework from earlier and put it on top of her clothes. Quickly switching out her striped Keds for the four inch heels worn in the last number, Rachel left the room.

Standing outside the choir room still in her formal dress, Rachel waited for Sarah to bring her to Deborah's car, nervously tapping her right heel against the worn linoleum hallway. Hearing distant footsteps, she looked up in anticipation, seeing someone else entirely.

"Dad?"

_**gleegleeglee**_

Following the congratulatory hugs they received from Kurt and Mercedes, Artie and Tina left for the choir room and the Spanish room, both in the same relative direction. When they were about to turn the corner into the hallway with the choir room, they heard arguing.

"I don't care! The ticket is already booked, and I'm leaving with Deborah and Sarah...you can't stop me dad." Tina looked around the corner and turned back to her boyfriend. _It's Rachel_, she mouthed, going back to watch the scene down the hallway.

"Rachel, be reasonable. Noah is an important part of our lives, but you can't jump onto a plane every time he has a cold. That is the exact reason why we took away your credit card and your debit card! You need to learn some self-control..." Artie angled himself next to the corner, enabling a clear view.

"Sorry dad, but he needs me. I need him. I may do things you disapprove of, but I'll never regret them. Now I'm sorry if I'm rude, but my plane leaves in an hour and a half, so I'm going." With those last words, Rachel walked towards her teammates.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Rounding the corner, Rachel saw Artie and Tina looking at her guiltily. She nodded, speaking in hushed tones, contrasting her earlier argument.

"I'm assuming you heard that. I promise I'll explain when I get back, but I really need to go now." With a harried wave at the pair, she jogged down the hallway, headed towards the exit.

Leaving the building, Rachel stood on the sidewalk next to the filled parking lot. Looking back towards the building, she saw most of the audience talking with her fellow club members, enjoying the festivities. Shaking that thought from her head, the teenager sighed in relief when she saw a familiar Navy Packard pulling in front of the curb.

Sarah took her school bag, placing it in the trunk, and hopped in the back seat. After putting the front seat back into position, Rachel got into the car and shut the door. Without a second's hesitation, Deborah put the car into drive as the teens put on their seat belts, starting the short drive to Lima Allen County Airport.


	11. 11: Everything I Do Is

**AN****: Thanks to all of my reviewers and various types of subscribers. As a reminder, the offer for the 100th review still stands-you get to request a missing scene one-shot from this story! Particular review thanks go out to ****anonymous dream****, ****Shelz****, ****Liraz****, ****Anime Girl23****, ****Aussie Panda****, ****booksmartblonde333****, ****chrpangel****, ****sweetcaroline1986****, ****twilightangel61090****, and ****slaygurl****. Note: some of the opinions expressed later in the plot do not reflect my personal opinion on the matter (I'm not going into specifics, but I will mention I went to the midnight showing with friends this past week, so there is no hatred on my part). Also, if you missed them, I posted links to the dress pictures for the final two outfits in the last chapter.**

**AN 2****: Also, Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy-may he continue to be awesome!**

Always

Chapter 11: Everything I Do Is... (Rachel/Puck/Other POV)

Sip.

Glance. Sip.

10:49 PM.

_Eleven minutes, then we're off to Los Angeles. Off to Noah_. Sighing with impatience, she shook her head of these thoughts. Following this, Rachel found herself staring at the gate check-in once more, then took another sip of her black tea.

10:50 PM.

"Can the passengers seats 1A through 30A please line up for check-in. We will begin boarding for the 11 o'clock flight to Los Angeles via Columbus momentarily." Once the airline attendant began to speak, Rachel shot up from her seat clutching her ticket. Turning to Sarah and Deborah, she glanced at their tickets.

11A, 12A, 13A.

_Oh thank Moses_. Standing up abruptly, Rachel lifted her bag effortlessly, glancing at Sarah. A very sleepy Sarah Puckerman covered her mouth as she yawned, looked at her watch (a gift from Rachel for her birthday last year), and jumped from her seat. Scrambling in her bag for her pass, Sarah visibly relaxed when Deborah waved the other two tickets in her left hand and gave one to her daughter.

Walking to the slowly forming line, the three women stood silently, Sarah latching on to Rachel's arm for comfort. Minutes passed as they stood there, an attendant finally checking tickets. Sarah, Rachel, and Deborah passed through the ticket check quickly (receiving second glances for Rachel's elaborate performance dress) and began to walk through the tunnel leading to the plane.

Finding their seats groped together on the left side of the plane, Deborah deposited their bags in the overhead storage while the teenagers sat down. After buckling their seat belts, Rachel turned towards Sarah, allowing the younger girl to lean on her shoulder.

Within ten minutes of their boarding, the lights went on in the cabin signaling regular take-off protocol. When the plane jolted, starting to move to the runway, Sarah took her honorary sister's hand.

Squeezing tightly, Sarah and Rachel relaxed the moment the plane lifted off. Rachel glanced over at her best friend's mom-the woman who practically raised her-and could only feel sadness. _To think, her only son went into this with some measure of hope_. With tears beginning again, Rachel spent the rest of the trip in silence, remembering the last time she flew with company.

Remembering how much simpler life seemed to be then.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Arriving in Los Angeles almost an hour past midnight, Rachel and Sarah practically passed out the moment they were shown their "family quarters" upon arriving at the hospital. Waking up in the morning, Deborah had no news for them-Dr. Peppard was giving last instructions to the nurses checking in on Noah.

Around nine that morning, Peppard entered their room, carrying what looked to be a medical chart. He gestured for the three women to sit down, followed his own suggestion, and sat down at one of the chairs surrounding the coffee table. He glanced down briefly as he opened the file, finally looking back up to Deborah Puckerman.

"Deborah, around seven last night, a Mr. Jesse St. James was talking with Noah in his room, of which I'm sure you already know. He had experienced a small fever, coughing, slowed movements, and finally experienced a bout of dizziness followed by fainting." Sarah gasped in shock as Peppard described the occurrence; Rachel squeezed her shoulder in some semblance of comfort, knowing their discussion could only go downhill.

"We took Noah in to the Emergency Treatment Center on the third floor and almost right after we entered the center, he started to seize. We diagnosed him with a drug-related case of hyperthermia, and started to treat him immediately."

As the doctor continued to describe the various cooling methods being used, Sarah's shock turned into a form of horror, causing her to break down. As her sobs grew louder, the young teen excused herself to the attached bathroom. Deborah reacted in a somewhat similar manner to her daughter, starting to cry quietly. Rachel was a different matter.

She wasn't crying, not even in the slightest. She reassured herself that her tear ducts were just overused from earlier. _I already cried out every tear available, so my reaction shouldn't be this weird_. Even as she reassured herself, her answer seemed too odd. It didn't describe the feeling taking residence in the pit of her stomach.

Emptiness.

_That would explain why I'm currently staring at Dr. Peppard like he's told me the day of the week rather than Noah's current problem_. Blinking, she felt that pressure in her stomach increase slightly into a pang. The pang rose from her stomach, landing in her upper torso, causing her breathing to sputter. _I don't think this is normal_...

As that thought filtered through her brain, the room began to shift drastically. Dr. Peppard stopped his description and looked at her in concern. Her gaze flitted between the doctor, a scared Sarah, and a worried Deborah. Sarah reached toward her, trying to pat her arm, but Rachel lurched away suddenly.

"Nooo...I...con...trol...back...away-y-y." Rachel stood up shakily as she stuttered out a warning to the room's other occupants. With her fourth retreating step, she could practically hear the blood rushing through her head, looking around the room frantically. Reaching out to some unknown object to steady herself, she lost her balance and fell to the floor.

Rachel could faintly hear Peppard call for a stretcher as she began to hyperventilate on the hospital floor. Through the haze caused by the lack of oxygen to her brain, she felt herself lifted on to a stretcher and wheeled to the elevator. In what seemed like no time at all, she saw herself in a sterile room.

The last thing she remembered was the doctor trying to ask her to focus on breathing slower.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Opening her eyes with hesitation, Rachel Berry looked around to find herself in a hospital bed similar to Noah's. Glancing at the IV fluid, she tried to decipher what she was hooked up to.

_What the hell is going on?_

Removing the IV as carefully as she could, Rachel attempted to crawl to the end of her bed, halted by a breathing tube. Noticing the breathing tube, her eyes grew wide. _My throat!_ In a panic, Rachel threw the pillow she was resting against, hitting the opened window blinds. In the middle of knocking over a nearby medical table, the door opened.

"She's awake! Someone might want to take out her breathing tube..."

Halting all motion, Rachel turned to the door to find a saddened Jesse St. James leaning against the open doorway. He began to walk forward, gently pushing her back onto the bed as he reached it, and sat on the side.

"Fuck Rach, gave us all a good scare." Her only response was a raised eyebrow and a pointed finger at the breathing tube. He nodded in understanding. As the silence permeated the starched room, he shifted in the bed, laying next to her. That's how the attending nurse found them five minutes later.

Once Rachel's tube was removed, the nurse explicitly told her to refrain from talking and eating solid or abrasive foods. Once the two teenagers were alone again, Jesse turned his body on the bed, facing her completely.

"I heard about your disagreement with your dads from Sarah when you were asleep. I know you would rather find out from me, but.... I called Darren, but he was hysterical. Isaiah took the phone, and he said they're flying out as soon as possible." With those last words, Rachel flinched.

"Fuck me." Jesse chuckled.

"Aptly said, but no thanks-I've got a pseudo boyfriend." Rachel nodded in acceptance, smiling at his downplay of her words. He continued.

"Really though, your dads have always been strict, but the concert yesterday-what was that?" She sighed and felt the raw pain left from a breathing tube; she mimed drawing something, for which he pulled out his composition notebook.

Once Noah left, I've been flying out to LA "too much," and forgetting about my real responsibilities...I have the same GPA as I did last year! They're just trying to control my life more. Have I told you about my college applications?

Jesse looked at the paper diligently as she wrote. With her last sentence, Jesse chuckled, nudging her left side.

"No, you have not told me. I reckon it's because of that oxygen tube that was shoved down your throat less than half an hour ago, but it's your call." She rolled her eyes.

I applied to a whole bunch, as my Dad said I needed options. The only ones I told them about were NYU, Dartmouth, and Juilliard. The rest are in California.

Reading this, Jesse's eyes widened slightly, a grin appearing on his face. He snuggled into her side a bit more as he voiced his question.

"So, have you perchance applied to any fabulous UC's in Southern California...preferably where your one and only GBF is currently studying music with a side of redhead hottie?" Rachel laughed silently for about a minute before turning to the paper to answer.

Why, do you mean UC Irvine? I think that's where Lewis went. Or are you talking about Andrew, because he went to UC San Diego.

He nudged her shoulder, telling her somewhat to be serious.

Really though, I applied to those two, UCLA of course, Loyola Marymount, and Stanford for posterity. I'm trying to avoid telling my dads about those for as long as possible, mainly to try to escape what happened with you...

Jesse sighed in a newly found sadness; he never liked talking to/with his parents before he left for college, but after their discussion he was practically disowned.

"Rachel, my parents were certifiable. Just because they don't acknowledge my existence doesn't mean you'll be disowned too...and if you did, Deborah would probably take you in. Honorary daughter-in-law, you know."

Before she could continue her written sparring, Dr. Peppard walked into the room, cutting off their discussion. After a brief overview of what happened earlier that day-she had a panic attack, complete with hyperventilation-he reattached her IV into non-bruised skin. He began to leave (as did Jesse) when she kept yawning, mentioning on the way out that she would be discharged the next day.

The last thought on her mind as she fell into a medicated dream was that she would _finally get to see Noah_.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Three thirty PM. The birds outside her window were chirping entirely too loudly, her fathers had "talked to her about her dramatics," and a wheelchair was brought in as a precaution (no matter how much her Daddy chides her about her dramatic nature, he _begged_ Peppard for it).

In one hour, she managed to convince herself that Noah was awake and actively taking visitors.

In ten minutes, she told herself that finding his recovery room from there would be simple.

In one minute, she was passing through the doorway into the hall in her wheelchair.

In ten minutes, she told herself that Artie was amazing-she was starting to get a cramp in her forearms from wheeling around for so long.

In one hour, she managed to convince herself to go through the door she had been staring at for almost an hour.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Click.

Puck faintly heard the sound of the door opening, eyes remaining closed so as to prevent any confirmation of such a thought. No footsteps accompanied the initial noise, so he was a bit confused. Besides, practically everyone he expected to visit had already visited.

"Noah..."

Correction: everyone.

"Rach, where were you? Sarah and mum came in yesterday, and when I asked them if you came to, Sarah started crying again." He slowly opened his eyes to a dark room, finding her sitting casually in a wheelchair next to his bed. She gave him a pained smile.

"Well rationally, I knew something bad had happened to you if we were flying out after the showcase yesterday. I had cried already-both Sarah and I were teary for most of the flight to Los Angeles. Peppard started describing what happened to you, and I just..." She trailed off, looking at the armrest of the chair. Puck reached out for her hand, a loose hold surrounding.

"You had another panic attack, didn't you?" She looked up at him, shame on her face, while he continued.

"Rach, ever since you started rehearsals for that community theatre production of Hair back in Kindergarten, you've been like a ticking time bomb. You need to talk to a doctor about this...sooner rather than later." She shook her head, glancing down before looking back up at him with a sad smile gracing her face.

"Noh Noh, I was freaking out over the medical crisis of the most important person in my life-I think my panic attack was expected. Now for something completely different...have I ever told you how much I adore you?" The look on her face was reminiscent of her mockery of the teenage Twilight fanatics mooning over the life-size cardboard cutout of Rob Pattinson (who they had seen at the movie theaters while buying their tickets for "Date Night" with Jesse the previous May). Chuckling at the memory, he patted the space on the hospital bed next to him, moving over so she could cuddle into his side. _Never let it be said that Noah Puckerman wasn't a badass-I just like cuddling_.

_**gleegleeglee**_

As both teens continued to talk, and eventually fell asleep on the narrow hospital bed, Jesse St. James stood in the barely open doorway. Looking in at two of his best friends, he smiled sadly (not for the first time that day). _I just hope they figure everything out soon-the tension is irritating_. His phone began to ring, cutting short his musings.

_Tina?_


	12. 12: The Beginning Is

**AN****: Super sorry for the lack of updates the past few weeks; I'm finishing up my super hard summer class/packing for college/buying items for my dorm. On that note, I am going on down to University next Friday for move-in that Sunday, so updates may still be a bit sparse until I get back into a schedule. Thanks so much to my reviewers: ****aussietasha****, ****Shelz****, ****Aussie Panda****, ****Anime Girl23****, ****anonymous dream****, ****booksmartblonde333****, ****Liraz****, ****sweetcaroline1986****, ****emo nemo96****, ****twilightangel61090****, and ****third party in the matter****. A quick reminder: 100th reviewer gets to request a missing scene one-shot!**

**AN 2****: Also, the Emmy nominated show Glee belongs to the awesome Ryan Murphy. The song "Shine On" belongs to the group Needtobreathe.**

Always

Chapter 12: The Beginning Is...(Rachel/Puck/Other POV)

"Hey T. Don't tell me Abrams is starting to bore you to the point that you have to call me in your free time..." Jesse heard her chuckle into the phone. The sounds seemed distant though, so he assumed Tina just put her phone on speaker.

"Nope, he is enough of a distraction for a lifetime. Anyways, we just wanted to call to check up on your life. Make sure Cain is treating you well, and all that jazz, to quote my favorite musical." Jesse shook his head in amusement, smiling at the phone in his hand.

"You know T, that is what I miss the most about you-your references to Chicago and various 80's movies. Every time I saw the poster for Hot Tub Time Machine down here, I had serious flashbacks to us standing outside Rach's house with the boombox that night." Tina and who he assumed to be Artie laughed on the other end.

"You know, J, you totally rocked the Cusack brooding..." An awkward silence followed, during which Jesse looked up and down the hallway. Spotting a nurse, he ducked into Puck's room and shut the door somewhat quietly.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Without opening her eyes, Rachel could already identify the two other people in the room with her. Noah was practically a given-they had basically grown up together and were at the very least "BFFL's," a term bestowed by an overly caffeinated Tina. Jesse was the trickier one-she heard footsteps enter the room, but they could have been anyone's. Then he started to speak into (what she assumed was) his beloved iPhone 4.

"T, as much as I appreciate the humorous banter, why did you-and by extension, Abrams-call me? You could be working on your next song for choir." She heard him set the phone down, tapping on the screen for some reason. A minute later, when Tina's voice came out clear in the otherwise silent hospital room, Rachel assumed he put the call on speakerphone.

"I quit J. With Rachel at the beginning of this month. Shue kept pushing us harder for practices, and we could never fit it in. On that same note, Rachel has seemed more troubled than anyone I can think of, so her quitting was only an inevitability." Listening to her friend explain this, Rachel let out a soft sigh of sadness. _I do kinda miss our choir meetings_.

"What do you mean troubled, T? Every time I see her-shit." Rachel hardly moved at Jesse's accidental slip, opening her eyes to the space between Noah's neck and his pillow. _Damn, this is a comfortable pillow!_

"She's been in LA? I figured she was leaving the state every time she was basically unreachable, but visiting you in Los Angeles? Why?" Slowly sitting up next to Noah, Rachel watched Jesse's eyes widen in surprise, before gesturing for the phone. He stood slowly, walked over and placed his phone in her hand, sitting on the empty foot space at the end of the bed.

"Because of Noah. Hey T, Artie." On the other end of the line, Rachel and Jesse heard [who they presumed to be] Artie coughing and some liquid hitting the floor. Jesse spoke up in concern.

"Are you two alright? I thought I heard someone's drink spill..." Artie began to chuckle, leading Rachel and Jesse to look at each other in confusion.

"That was actually the sound of Silly Tina spitting soy milk out of her nose. Hon, you might want to clean that up before the room starts to smell like your fake dairy..." They could hear an indistinct growling sound coming from Tina while Jesse spoke once more.

"Artie, where did you pick that one up from? I never thought T would have told anyone her super secret nickname..." Rachel looked guilty.

"I accidentally called her Silly Tina one day before glee practice; Artie just happened to come into the room then, and hasn't let her forget it." The sound of rustling echoed throughout the room before Tina rejoined the conversation.

"And naturally, to deal with his own weird-name issues, he calls me that horrid nickname you gave me after Temple on Purim when we were eight." Jesse started laughing, shaking his head at Tina's explanation, and asked the obvious question.

"Abrams has a weird name? I really don't think it can beat yours, Anaïs Célestina." Jesse and Rachel chuckled as they thought back to their shared childhood memories of Shosanna Cohen-Chang yelling at a young Tina. As Tina and Artie bickered mildly in the background and Jesse and Rachel remembered their childhoods fondly, one set of hazel eyes blinked wearily.

_**gleegleeglee**_

_Laughing-why is there someone laughing in my room? Wait...two people? Is that-_

Blink.

Opening his eyes fully, Puck turned his head away from the closed door, facing two shadowed figures sitting next to him on the hospital bed. As his vision cleared, he could distinctly recognize Rachel and Jesse (as well as that damn phone Jesse loved). It looked as though they were in a conversation, as the phone was emitting a low, echoing tone.

Remaining still, he watched his two friends calm down, and jump back in to the conversation.

"Really Artie, you have a weird name? Arthur isn't bad at all; in fact-" Tina cut off her friend, giggling uncharacteristically as she spoke.

"His name isn't Arthur-it's Arcturus. Arcturus Isaac Abrams." As she finished the announcement, Jesse smirked at the phone.

"Your parents are big "Foundation" fans, aren't they?" Artie mumbled his affirmation. "Mine too. Jesse Bel St. James, after the General of the Galactic Empire." Jesse ran his hand through his hair as he took a moment to gaze around the room absentmindedly. While Rachel kept up the conversation with their two friends in Lima, Jesse's eyes connected with Puck's.

Slowly raising his arm, Puck motioned for Jesse to remain quiet about his waking. Unfortunately, that slight motion caught Rachel's eyes, causing her to give a double-take.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Artie and Tina were nestled in one of her high backed leather chairs in one corner of her darkened bedroom. While they talked to Jesse (and now Rachel) on speakerphone, Artie was looking at amps on Amazon on his Macbook. In the middle of a discussion with Rachel about college applications, they both froze as silence suddenly filled the golden room.

Both teens looked at each other before turning permanently to Tina's phone. For the first few seconds, they could only hear a faint conversation, most likely a series of whispers. Tina finally spoke, asking Jesse a simple question.

"J...What's going on over there?" They heard a shaky breath exhaled before her friend replied slowly.

"Um, Rachel hasn't had the best time here; a major shock to the system and another panic attack. She is actually reassuring Puck that she's fine. You guys have seen her when she gets into her 'competition mode' and blocks everything out for the time being; right now, all of her thoughts and emotions from the past two days are building up." Tina paled slightly, having had much experience with Rachel's panic attacks throughout the course of their friendship. Artie's face scrunched in confusion.

"Another panic attack? Major shock to the system? What's happening St. James?" Artie closed his eyes tightly, pressed his left palm to his forehead hard, then turned to his girlfriend. Tina had taken the laptop and was bringing up some website on his browser as she spoke to her close friend.

"Jesse, I'm video calling you now."

_**gleegleeglee**_

Upon hearing those six words, an unsettling calm practically consumed the three occupants of room 117 of the Mattel Children's Hospital.

Jesse gently placed his beloved phone on the side table while he turned towards the room's other occupants. He tilted his head as if to ask what he should do.

Rachel shifted up the bed slowly, sitting upright next to Puck. She looked at him briefly with a look of support, gently clasped his hand, and turned to nod at Jesse.

Puck had already shifted into an upright position with the help of Rachel. He glanced around the unfamiliar room, looking for some semblance of comfort. Jesse's phone began to buzz, signaling an incoming Skype call. Puck reverted to his retired devil-may-care attitude for a split second before smoothing a shaky left hand over his bald scalp.

Jesse accepted the call, setting it up to use the screen-side camera that faced him. After a few seconds of delay, he appeared to be talking personally with his best friend and her boyfriend.

"T, couldn't resist an opportunity to see my glorious visage? I really don't blame you...I am one of the best looking people in undergraduate studies in the land of the Bruins." He gave off a weak laugh, showing his lack of confidence in distracting Tina. This small tell was noticed by all five teens involved. Tina responded with the inner ferocity she possessed.

"J, cut the crap. Less than five minutes ago, I was talking to Rachel on the phone, she drops out of the conversation, and you suddenly tell me that Puck is over there too? Pardon my language, but what fucked up second dimension have we entered?" With the sudden profanity, Jesse gulps in fear and Rachel blinks. They both turn towards Puck, gauging his reaction.

Puck reaches for the phone, pulling away from Rachel entirely for two seconds; Jesse shakes his head at the motion. He gestures towards to ever-present camera located in front of the floral display situated next to the window. Puck reaches for the phone once more, not one ounce of his being caring for the documentary camera situated in the room. _Who is he to tell me what I can and can't do? If my luck continues like this_...

Jesse looked back at the screen of the phone, addressing their friends somewhat reluctantly.

"For some unknown reason, Puck wants to tell you himself. A warning though," the eldest took a deep breath before he continued, a moroseness clouding his eyes. "Things change-people change. The spirit of humanity shouldn't..." Jesse handed the phone to his sickened friend.

As Puck turned the screen to face himself, the only sounds that echoed in the dimmed florescent room were the confused mumblings of his two friends still in Lima, Ohio. The moment he locked eyes with them was almost surreal; the closest he could describe it would be saying it was like "something from the movies." Tina-her ponytail of dark blue streaked hair and pale face-contrasted harshly in the stark light of the computer screen in her blackened room. Artie, unlike Tina, couldn't control his poker face as well; his jaw dropped slightly and tears began to pool in his eyes. Both just stared at their once-missing friend, carrying the silence from somewhat uncomfortable into burning the nerve endings near his brain. Glancing down, he shrugged before speaking quietly.

"Long time no see. Hey Tina, Artie." His words seemed to break them out of the haze they were pushed into at the unexpected sight of him-Tina spoke with a relative calmness in her tone.

"What...what happened to you, Noah?" She managed to keep her voice from cracking until the last syllable. He glanced at the miniature square in the corner of the screen; it reflected the weakness the disease had instilled in him. He dragged a hand down the side of his slightly gaunt face before answering the query.

"I have leukemia. That's why I'm in L.A. instead of Lima-treatments." He looked at a teary Rachel next to him, their hospital gowns creating a patterned ocean upon the bed. He continued on, speaking aloud the inevitability Peppard had mentioned.

"I'm starting a new treatment Sunday-immunotherapy. My doctor said he's trying two types of medicine before we have to move on to the next stage..." As he trailed off, the other four teens felt a chill in the air, feeling the scary undertones of that simple statement. As he watched Tina and Artie exhibit different emotional responses, he gave the phone to Rachel, and walked to the chair next to the window. He watched her talk to their friends from her spot on his recovery bed.

As she started to flush out the brief synopsis he had just given, Puck turned away from a speaking Rachel and a shaking Jesse. Staring out the window, he noted the distinctly different view presented before him; instead of the sparse trees covering the school's neurological center, all he could see was some bland building and a shaded parking lot.

Looking up at the distant skyline, he could only figure that sunset was approaching; a nurse had told him earlier that his window faced out North. At that moment, the skies were a watercolor of purples, pinks, and oranges. _Taking a cue from Rachel and finally using my under appreciated artistic talent for analyzation_...Cringing as a memory of one of their last fights before high school began to play in his mind's eye, Puck searched the view for another focus.

Setting his sight on the few birds flying left into the sunspot, he watched their ascent into the darkening heavens. _Maybe Rach is right_...With a glance back at his now crying best friend (leaning on Jesse's shoulder as she recounts this last week-end), he set back to thinking about the migrating birds (corvids he assumed, based on the wing shape).

_...Maybe I'll get to fly off one day, leave the rest of the world behind_.

In a blink, the flock soaring through the clouds had almost disappeared into the backlit field of clouds blanketing the sky. He shifted forward in his seat, rested his tired head on the window pane, and closed his eyes. Puck sat in that position for mere moments of peace before a drum beat invaded his brain.

_**Shine on, shine on.**_

_**And on to something new**_**,**

Opening his eyes immediately, Puck looked out the window on to the empty street below, where the music was coming from. Finding a bicycle ambling down the street, he smiled with the recognition of the tune. Turning around in his seat, he watched Rachel and Jesse continue to talk with Artie and Tina, unable to hear the song that played a small role that last summer before the fight. As he softly sang along to the song, memories of himself and Tina jumping around in her backyard singing at the top of their lungs jumped to the forefront of his memory.

_**It's long and overdue,**_

_**I will remember you**_**.**

_**gleegleeglee**_

Jesse and Rachel were bopping their heads along to the music, waving their arms above their heads, occasionally spilling electric blue soda on the other's head if a hand tilted. The summer sun was warming Tina's back porch just enough to keep the wood under their feet from cooling. The clouds from midday had disappeared in less than three hours, causing the sun to beam brightly on all of Ohio. Tina's dad was grilling veggie burgers at the other end of the yard, talking to Darren Berry about something, and glancing over at the group of parents hovering around the drinks.

When the next song had started on the radio, Puck and Tina sat down next to their respective best-friends; in the available seat on the patio swing next to Rachel and on the railing next to Jesse, respectively. For the twenty remaining minutes until dinner was served they talked and laughed over the past year's antics, occasionally humming along with the song currently playing.

_**gleegleeglee**_

Shaking the memories out of his head, Puck noticed the abnormally muted room in front of him; Rachel and Jesse, he assumed, fell asleep sometime after they finished talking. Standing up slowly, a single thought passed through his mind: _I would probably do anything to hear her voice for the rest of_..._well, now at least_. With a small smile, Puck walked to his bed to rouse the other two from their short nap.


	13. 13: Flying Into A Wall

**AN****: I'm finally posting again! The time between now and my last update was filled with enough ridiculous-ness to mirror any soap opera *ever*. Thankfully, Fall Quarter is over, and I'm back to writing! Admittedly, this is a bit shorter than past chapters, but I'm building up to certain events, so this is a bit of explanatory filler. Also, giant thanks go out to all who reviewed: ****Liraz**** (x2), ****Anime Girl23****, ****booksmartblonde333****, ****perpetualblyss****, ****laura-stewart****, ****Shelz****, ****angiekins****, ****BAMF****, and ****misM****. And the 100th reviewer has been notified-a corresponding one-shot should be making it's way onto soon enough.**

**AN 2****: As always, Glee belongs to the mega-mind of Ryan Murphy, and the song "Pardon Me" belongs to Incubus.**

Always

Chapter 13: Flying Into A Wall (Rachel/Other POV)

_**A decade ago I never thought I would be,**_

_**At twenty-three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion. Woe is me**_**.**

Hitting her hand on the dashboard in tune with the radio, Rachel glared at the last red light between her and McKinley High School. As the song began to pick up pace, the light finally turned green. In a move uncharacteristic for her, Rachel hit the gas pedal hard, pulling into the school parking lot going far faster than the typical speed limit.

Stepping out of her car, she could see some of her fellow glee teammates looking at her from the shade of the building. _Fucking Monday_...With that thought, she ran a shaky hand through her messy hair; a simple fact Quinn and Santana picked up on quickly, whispering to each other while pointing at her hair. _Yes, I know I look like shit...get over it people_. Resisting the urge to flip off the group in the shade, Rachel walked slowly towards the choir room, ignoring the small commotion she caused.

_**gleegleeglee**_

The choir room that morning was abnormally quiet; usually, the twenty minutes before class began was spent with Rachel practicing her scales on the piano, maybe joining in to the conversation Tina and Artie were having. This morning, Tina sat silently in the chair next to Artie's, watching him clench and unclench his fists. After spending the first ten minutes in silence, Rachel barged into the room, causing the door to slam noisily into the wall.

"Hey Artie, Tina." The whispered response was almost as deafening as the door slamming into the wall. She dropped her bag abruptly on the ground and sat at one of the chairs near her friends.

Tina just looked at her friend, searching for a physical tell from (at least) that past weekend's events. Her hands were shaking, fidgeting in her lap as she stared at the linoleum flooring in the choir room. Reaching out to hold her shoulder, Tina gasped when she saw the back of Rachel's hand; a faint blue bruise was in the early stages of fading from her skin.

Rachel looked up at her good friend, letting her see an intensified version of Rachel's own pain; the faint circles that had started to form under her eyes had darkened to a purplish tinge, making her tanned face appear paler and gaunt. Artie wheeled closer to the two girls, stopping right next to Tina, facing Rachel head on as he asked her the question at the forefront of his mind.

"What happened to you, Rach? You look like some Burton-esque version of death warmed over." Rachel cringed at Artie's statement, contemplated for a second, then began to speak in a scratched voice.

"After our conversation on Saturday, Jesse and I fell asleep in Noah's room..."

_**gleegleeglee**_

Rachel opened her eyes blearily, realizing almost immediately two things; she was in Los Angeles and Noah was stroking her cheek. Next to her, Jesse was sitting up, stretching his arms out behind him. Noah opened his mouth to speak as the door interrupted the room's silence.

From the corridor, Rachel's dad, Isaiah, strode into the room hotly; he immediately strode over to Rachel, his stance ready to attack. Striding into the room slightly after (and quite out of breath), her daddy, Darren, tried to pull his partner away from their confused daughter. Isaiah resisted the efforts to calm himself, instead preferring to get to the root of his anger.

"Rachel Barbara Berry! Good lord child! It seems like no matter what restrictions and rules we place on you, you flout authority without a care in the world! I swear, sometimes..." The small man trailed off irately, turning his head away from his daughter to his partner, gesturing that it was fine to let go of his arm at that point.

Rachel just stared at her Dad, Noah and Jesse's arms holding her protectively, as the anger grew inside her. How dare he? He knows nothing about the situation! She slowly stood up to her full height, practically eye to eye with her Dad, and spoke calmly.

"Dad, Daddy-really? I came to California for matters that do not directly concern you, so I see no real reason for you two to be out here, let alone in this private room. Noah, dear, should I call security?" With that last word, one of her eyebrows raised slightly, challenging her parents. The shorter of her parents seemed to boil with rage.

"Rachel, you are out of line! Being underage, we legally are responsible for your welfare, which is in a questionable condition stemming from this cancerous...thing," he gestured at Noah (a movement causing him to pale and Rachel to redden in anger). "Come now, we're going back to Lima in two hours, and check-in is always crowded." As her father waved her over, Rachel began to adamantly shake her head.

"Pardon my language, but fuck no! I have had enough of your rules concerning my well being-I have been taking care of myself pretty well since you stopped hiring sitters when I was ten." Her eyes narrowed as she continued. "If I was on my own, I would probably manage just fine. Don't try to take me back to that empty house with you-I'm better off here."

_**gleegleeglee**_

"...And I haven't seen either of them since. I actually walked into the house around six this morning, straight from my flight, to find a note on the dining table; a note! They basically told me to find a new place to live while I was acting unreasonable. I took as much of my stuff as I could fit in my car and drove straight to school." Looking up from the ground, anger, not sadness, was seen in the brunette's eyes; an omnipresent fire, flaring in response to her recent familial issues. Artie and Tina glanced at each other, noticing an exclusion of any reference to Puck, and nodded simultaneously. Tina reached for Rachel's arm, resting her hand lightly on a shoulder, and murmured a promise from the two of them.

"Rach, no matter what happens, we'll cover you." Rachel gave up a small smile at her wording, understanding exactly who else Tina and Artie were including in their words.

_**gleegleeglee**_

With the ringing of the last bell, Rachel felt a small spot of dread begin to form in her lower ribs, feeling like a weight was being pushed on her solar plexus; she had Glee. Of course, Glee club in general acted as her savior (as anyone with passable vision could see), but considering her immediate departure after the concert on Friday, she would not be welcomed so warmly by most.

Walking out into the hallway from her AP Calculus class, Rachel immediately made for her locker. Turning the dial quickly, she put her Calculus and French books away, pulling her hand out with the infamous _Rachel Berry Folder of Music_ (apparently, rumors of her insane process to create new arrangements of existing songs had spread throughout [at least] the East Coast Glee circuit). Turning around, she barely saw the flick of a wrist holding a plastic cup, and her face was covered in cherry slushie.

As Rachel wiped the colored goo from her face, a hand pulled at her elbow, practically dragging her off to the closest girl's bathroom down the hall. Facing the mirror she was stopped in front of, Rachel noticed her fellow Glee-mate: Kurt Hummel. He was looking at her-disgust showed on his face with a glance at her sweater; pity in a glance at her hair-with a look he rarely gave others. One that hadn't been seen much since last spring, when Mercedes began to hang out with Quinn a bit more.

Kurt stepped toward her, reaching for a lock of her hair covered in the slushie, and let it drop back onto her ruined sweater. Turning around to his bag, he looked around for something as Rachel stared at him in disbelief. Kurt turned around with his Michael Kors bag, stopped by Rachel.

"Why are you helping me, Kurt? You've seemed nicer since we've been back in class, but we aren't exactly friends." Kurt's unoccupied hand combed through his hair, smoothing it out, as he spoke.

"I know we haven't exactly been friends, but I wouldn't mind it. Honestly, the only reason we ever really fought was over solos and your hideous sweaters," Rachel raised a well-manicured eyebrow, "Which, admittedly, you've banished to the back of the closet up until today. I don't want to fight you anymore. I've seen how miserable you look at times, and I really don't want to add to whatever problem you are having with, well...whomever you're having problems with? Really, I just want to be there for you." He looked at her, sadness showing on his face clear as day.

Rachel tried to comb her hand through her hair, the slushie remnants halting her progress. She gave Kurt an unreadable look, tilted her head, and smiled sadly.

"Ok, Kurt."

For the next twenty minutes, the two worked to clean her hair and face of the slushie and keep water from the sink from hitting Rachel's back-up shirt (which Kurt had thought was "absolutely better than that horrid giraffe sweater"). As Kurt finished brushing her hair into a low ponytail, he asked Rachel a question.

"Why was your shoe organizer in your car? I passed by it at lunch, and saw it at a glance..." He trailed off, biting his lip, not expecting her to answer.

"I'm not living at home currently, as I quarreled with my dads." Kurt raised an eyebrow, and spoke as he began to arrange his hair in the other mirror.

"If you need a place to stay, I have room...admittedly, Finn and Carol come over for Friday night dinners, but I know that you generally have plans then, so..." Kurt turned toward Rachel, gesturing for her to make a decision. Rachel turned towards the taller boy, looking up at him with a small smile.

"Thanks."


End file.
